Home
by The River Watcher
Summary: Sully never intended to tell Michaela he loved her on that train in Boston. Returning home he decides to give Michaela a few days, buth when a tragedy occurs, Sully is left once more trying to fight his way back to her. Will he make it?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I'm not Beth Sullivan and I don't work for CBS. I'm just a lowly writer who enjoys borrowing their characters.

This story is an alternate ending for the events in Where the Heart Is.

Home

**Tuesday November 7 10:30 PM**

**Colorado Springs, Colorado**

After such a long journey, Sully was happy to have the opportunity to stretch his legs. He was glad to be home, to see the mountains and smell the fresh air once again, but he knew that once the carriage stopped in town anything was fair game. Sully had dreaded that moment beyond belief. He didn't want to have to remind himself once again why he had come home without Dr. Mike and the kids. Lord knows he had gone over the events of his last day in Boston enough by himself; he didn't want to have to repeat it to each and every inquiring towns person. However, his worrying had been for nothing. Somehow, he had managed to get out of town before too many people realized he had even returned. He only had to speak to Horace, Robert E., and Dorothy all who merely inquired to make sure that everything was well with Dr. Mike. He did his best to reassure everyone that all was well, Mrs. Quinn was feeling better, and he thought that everyone would be on their way home soon, even though his words did nothing to reassure himself. Aside from them, Sully had made it out of town without getting swarmed, but he knew this wouldn't last long. By the time the sleepy little town awoke the next morning, his return would be public knowledge, and they would be waiting like one of his traps for the next time he came into town. Wondering what had happened, how the children were, and what Boston was like, they were all well meaning, but all Sully wanted was to be left alone. At least they didn't know the real reason he left for Boston, and no one would ever know that last words he had spoken to Michaela before the train pulled out of the station. _At least not unless she wanted them to know. _

Sully sighed. He had spent the better part of the afternoon wandering through the familiar woods of Colorado reacquainting himself with Mother Earth and her children. After hunting for his dinner, he had made camp for the night, living much as he did before Dr. Mike had ever come to town. Lying back on the bedroll, Sully tucked his hands behind his head and gazed up at the stars. _It's been so long since_ _I've been truly free_, he thought feeling the cool November air dance through his hair. His mind slowly traced over his time in Boston. Wearing a suit, going to the theater, eating snails, sleeping in a bed, Sully's mind floated over all of the things he had done for Michaela, all the things that he never would have done had it been anyone else. However, his mind didn't stop there. It travelled over the past weeks, months, even… had it been a year yet? Strangely enough Sully hadn't noticed how much he'd changed since Michaela had moved to Colorado. In truth, he had managed to retain most of his eccentric lifestyle. He still slept under the stars in his lean-tos, he still hunted, and shared with the Cheyenne as he always did, but things had changed. He used to be completely self-sufficient. He could find his own food and rarely went into town. He would leave for weeks maybe months at a time and needed little companionship. He was a loner, and trusted Mother Earth to provide what he needed, and what she didn't provide he did without. When it all changed, Sully wasn't exactly sure. All he knew was that he had long since abandoned sleeping deep in the woods, choosing to stay slightly closer to the homestead. On days he didn't go into town he found that he fell asleep wondering about what Dr. Mike and the kids had done that day. He rarely left for long trips and when he did, he always let Dr. Mike know where he was going and made sure to bring her back some meat from his hunting trips. Clearing his throat, Sully rolled to his side, propping his head on his fist and staring into the dancing fire. It had changed, it had changed so drastically, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Sully could remember when he first went to live with the Cheyenne, after Abigail had died. He had been so empty, so lonely that it was a struggle to open his eyes every morning. Cloud Dancing had helped him learn to live each day with a purpose even if that purpose was simply to find food for the tribe; the Spirits had a reason for his life. The Cheyenne had shown him how to hunt, fish, and to listen to the world around him. Essentially, they taught him how to thrive and slowly the days no longer hurt to live. He moved through life numb to his heart with only the moments just before sleep still filled with the familiar pain that made the future so bleak. Even during the best of times, he had been plagued by his loss, but everything was different now. Sully couldn't remember the last time he had felt that emptiness in his chest, he couldn't remember waking and dreading the day ahead of him. Each day brought new hope, new happiness. Dropping his eyes to scan the remains of the rabbit he had for dinner, he picked up the pelt he had cleaned after his meal, proof that he still had the skills Cloud Dancing had taught him. He could still do it if he had to, live completely on his own abilities independent of anyone else. The problem was that he didn't want to, he didn't want to go back to the way things were, but as he made this realization the true uncertainty of his own situation began to creep back to him like a ghost in the night.

_Because I love you!_ He had exclaimed before the train lurched forward and then he stood frozen, paralyzed by the sound of his own voice. The next time he looked into Michaela's eyes, he 

wasn't sure what he saw: frustration, fear, anger, regret? Then she had left. She simply turned and walked away without another word spoken. _She had to leave, the children were still in Boston_, he told himself, but there was something, a tiny voice, that told him she could never be interested in him that way. With three words, he had inadvertently destroyed the best thing that had ever happened to him. Even if she didn't marry Burke and returned to Colorado things couldn't be the same now. What's more, Sully didn't know if he wanted it to be.

Once again rolling to his back, he closed his eyes, whispering a private prayer to the heavens. When he opened them again it was just in time to see a lone star shooting its way across the sky, leaving behind a burning trail of white light, the scar of its existence. Feeling the pain in his own chest, as if somehow the scar of the sky had touched his own heart Sully made a promise himself. He would give her a few days. If she was indeed coming, she wouldn't be too far behind him. He just wanted to see her, if only for a moment, if only to tell her goodbye.

**Boston, Massachusetts**

Michaela sat huddled in the window seat, staring out into the darkened backyard of her Beacon Hill home. Anticipation was building in her chest, filling her heart so that she could feel the harsh beating out her back, and rushing down to her fingertips in tingles. It took every bone in her body to manage to sit still. She was so restless. Crossing her arms across her chest tightly she looked up into the night sky in time to see a bright star shoot across the darkness causing her to smile. She used to make wishes on stars such as that one. Now it seemed as if she had nothing 

left to wish for, well, almost nothing. Deciding not to leave anything to chance, she quickly dropped her eyelids. _Please let him_ _wait_, she thought, her cheeks instantly flushing at the foolishness of wishing on a star. The stardust seemed to filter down to earth, falling around Michaela and soaking into her body. She had never known comfort like this before, well… comfort and anxiety.

Tomorrow they would be going home. It had taken a little longer than she had anticipated. Originally, she had planned on her and the children leaving on the train not two days after Sully, but this plan had been destroyed by Brian, who took this opportunity to catch a head cold. Although, Michaela wanted nothing more to be home in Colorado with Sully, the doctor in her knew that it be best he not travel. Nearly a week had passed now, and they were finally able to embark on their journey home.

Home. What a wonderful word, and for Michaela "home" held a double meaning. _Because I love you!_ His words echoed through her mind like a song she wouldn't likely forget. They were words she had desired to hear for so long, and never allowed herself to believe they could be applied to her. How could Sully love someone like her? She was so outspoken, so stubborn. She didn't have any of those genteel feminine qualities that other women possessed, and yet Sully loved her. He said so himself, and there was one thing Sully was, it was a man of his word.

The irony was not lost of Michaela. Those three little words were ones that every little girl dreamed of hearing. They spend hours imagining how it will happen. Would it be on a midnight stroll through the park, or over a candle lit dinner? Michaela herself had to admit that while she was growing up she had participated in the overactive imaginings of a romantic child herself. Sully's words were the ones she dreamed of so often, but when he finally said them, she found herself unable to speak. She just stood there, dumbfounded as if she didn't understand what he was saying. Squeezing her eyes tightly, Michaela shook her head, as if to jar the thoughts loose. _I'm sorry Sully, I'm so sorry, but I'll make it up to you. I promise_. Yes, she was going home, but not just to a town or a little cozily furnished cabin. She was going home to Sully.

Bouncing her legs a little, she pulled her eyes from away the little window and scanned the little guest room. There had once been a time when this was home as well. When she was little, she had played in this very room. On the bottom of the vanity there was a door housing an open compartment used to keep jewelry. For the most part, during her childhood this space was empty and perfect for the games of hide and seek she and Marjorie used to play. Standing, Michaela opened the little compartment and looked inside. Now it just sat empty, a shrine to the childhoods come and gone. Making her way across the room, she reached out to feel the smooth grain of the oak door and the coldness of the familiar doorknob. There were so many memories here. Each corner held a laughing child; every wall whispered a secret. Slowly opening the door, Michaela stuck her head out into the hallway, looking both ways before stepping out.

She wasn't entirely sure where she was going; she just knew that she was a little too restless to stay still. Making her way down the little hallway, Michaela scanned her surroundings. Familiar oil paintings lined the walls. Stopping in front of a well-known face, Michaela caught herself staring into the familiar mismatched eyes of a young woman. Her rigid, proper pose contrasted sharply with the softness of her lavender taffeta dress. Her bright and unruly red hair hanging down her back showed signs of frizzing at her temples and ears. It was the familiar face of a woman Michaela had wondered about all her life, her great-grandmother Quinn. The woman courageous enough to follow the man she loved all the way to America where they would spend the rest of their lives together. Michaela had always wondered what that sort of courage was like, to be able to pick everything up and move for the simple hope of the future. Feeling the familiar tingling in her body once again, she shuddered. Michaela pulled her dressing gown tighter around her body as she made her way down the hallway to the stairs.

The bottom foyer was still light with the faint glow emanating from the gas lamps hanging on the wall. It was a warm, cozy environment that Michaela stepped into as her feet left the staircase. How many times had she waited on that staircase for her father to get home, late at night? The foyer would be lit much like it was tonight and he would come in and hang his coat on the hook by the door before turning for his office. Michaela smiled, his office.

Making her way to the large room was like taking a journey she knew by heart. This was truly her favorite part of the house, that place that held the most memories for her. Stepping inside and lighting the oil lamp that was sitting on the desk, Michaela gazed around the room. The walls were lined with bookshelves that ran from floor to ceiling. Books occupied their proper position, standing straight in even lines like soldiers marching to battle. There was a section of medical works, philosophy, history, ancient text. Such a library took years to build. The large desk sitting in the room was empty now, holding only an ink well, pen, and her father's nameplate. It sat next to a large bay window with a window seat that looked out into her mother's rose garden.

Glancing around the room, Michaela could see the ghosts of the past. Was this the last time, she would be home? Of course, she would visit, but Michaela knew without a doubt that once she stepped out of this house tomorrow morning, she would only return in visits. This would no longer be home. Once, she had found herself in a similar position; she had felt these same emotions when she walked out that door nearly a year ago, but for some reason this felt different. There was more finality in this trip than there ever had been before.

Walking over to the bookshelves, Michaela reached out and pulled at the first spin her hand touched. Opening the cover, she examined the title. She smiled; it was like meeting a long lost friend. Placing it back on the shelf, she grabbed for the title next to it, enjoying the memories each book brought.

"They've all just been collecting dust." The familiar alto that filled the empty room caused Michaela to smile though she did not bother to turn around.

"Some of these would be nice to have. Brian and Colleen will enjoy them." Placing the last book on the shelf, Michaela turned to face her mother. "Why are you still up, Mother?"

"I couldn't sleep. Much like you, I imagine." Elizabeth Quinn replied sitting in one of the tall wingback chairs sitting before the fireplace.

"Mmmm." She smiled, moving to run her fingers along the mantle. "I'm restless tonight."

"That's understandable, you're excited about going to Colorado." Letting the silence infiltrate the room, Mrs. Quinn leaned her head over to catch a glimpse of her daughter's expression as she spoke again. " about going home."

Michaela couldn't help but smile. It was the first time her mother had ever acknowledged Colorado Springs as being her home. Somehow, it felt as if her mother was beginning to let go.

"Yes, I don't believe I realized how much I miss Colorado."

"And Mr. Sully." Only Mrs. Quinn dared to speak what she knew her daughter was thinking. Again, Michaela felt her hear thump in her chest, was her mother actually beginning to offer her acceptance? Turning from the fireplace, she looked down at the familiar, stoic face only to find the usual harsh lines of her mother's face softened. Feeling a little braver that usual, Michaela venture to speak her curiosity.

"What do you think of him, Mother?"

"Mr. Sully?" Elizabeth's eyes gazed up to her daughter before returning them to the book she held in her lap. Sighing lightly, she shut the book and laid it on the little table next to her. How _did_ she feel about Mr. Sully? "I believe Mr. Sully is a very gentle, honorable soul." Michaela felt herself smile with pride as she moved to where her mother was sitting. Interested in what was being said, Michaela knelt by the wingback chair, much like she would have done when she was younger, eager to hear the end of a fascinating story. "I believe he has led a very difficult life, one that would break a weaker man, he is wonderful to the children, and they seem to adore him. However, I also know that he is not the sort of man I would have picked for you." Before Mrs. Quinn even spoke her words, she knew the smile upon her youngest daughter's face would fall. She didn't want to hurt Michaela, but she didn't want to lie to her either. Reaching out to the younger woman, Elizabeth hooked her finger under her daughter's chin and brought the now down cast eyes to meet hers before continuing. "With that said, I do believe he would do anything for you. He would walk through fire, and that is not something easily found."

"No, it's not." Michaela managed to say, tears filling her eyes, causing them to glisten in the glow of the fire. Elizabeth met her gaze before harshly clearing her throat and diverting her eyes to the book once more.

"Let it be said, that I'm not necessarily, approving Michaela. I'm … I'm just trying to learn to let go." Elizabeth set her jaw and pursed her lips a little, but Michaela was not fooled. She smiled at her mother's stubbornness. Perhaps everyone was right; they were too much alike.

"That's all I need, Mother. Thank you." Leaning in, Michaela gave her mother a sweet kiss on her mother's cheek, wishing she had taken the opportunity to do it more when she was younger.

A subtle smile spread across Elizabeth's lips as she turned to her daughter. "I believe you ought to be getting some sleep."

With a quick squeeze of Mrs. Quinn's hand, Michaela stood and decided to take her mother's advice. It was time to go to bed. She needed all the sleep she could get because tomorrow they were going home.

_Thank you all for reading! I'm so happy to get the chance to share this story with you._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Sunday, November 10 3:00 PM**

**St. Louis, Missouri**

"All Aboard!" The engineer's voice boomed through the wooden train station and Michaela once again looked down the platform. Where were they? Uncertain of what to do, she stood there holding her and Brian's bags and gazing helplessly to Colleen who looked just as worried as she.

"Maybe they got lost?" Colleen suggested, shrugging her shoulders.

"But…" Michaela started to speak but was quickly cut off by Brian's yell.

"Ma! Ma! We're here." Looking up, Michaela saw both her sons running down the platform. Taking Colleen by the arm, she started for the train, which was just now beginning to kick up steam, knowing that the boys would follow.

No one said a word as they tried to navigate through the small hallway, with Michaela in the lead, searching for their compartment, but once the four made it into their private room, Brian started to chat ceaselessly.

"Ya shoulda seen some of the candy at the store, Ma. They had a ton!" He was sharing, from his position at the window, swapping his attention between his Ma and the slow moving scenery.

"Did they really?" Michaela was only halfway listening as she handed bags to Matthew who was throwing them to the overhead compartment.

"Yea, it was hard ta choose between it all."

"Choose?" Michaela startled out of her task and gazed down at Brian, who was holding a paper bag. Dropping her jaw, she turned to her oldest son. "Matthew…" she shot him an accusatory look.

"What? You know how hard it is to say no to him." Matthew said falling back into the cushioned bench. Michaela narrowed her eyes to an admonishing glare, but the smile on her lips told him she was only teasing.

"You better share!" Colleen exclaimed holding out her arm out across the aisle. Brian gladly poured some gumdrops into his sister's outstretched hand.

"Brian, have you taken your medicine yet?" Michaela asked fumbling through her bag for the brown bottle of cough syrup.

"Aw Ma…"

"Brian." She said, the tone of her voice telling them she wasn't playing. Suddenly, the train lurched forward, leaving Michaela holding onto the wall for stability. Matthew's hands immediately reached out to steady her.

"Ya need ta sit down 'fore ya fall." He pointed out.

"I suppose you're right." Michaela mumbled, stepping around to sit next to Colleen. Finding the syrup, she managed to pour some into a measuring cup and offered it to Brian who took the medicine reluctantly. Screwing up his face as the thick liquid ran down the back of his throat, he shuddered at the bad taste.

"Hey Ma, one day ya gotta invent a new medicine that tastes better." Brian said, completely serious. Michaela, however, merely smiled at his compliment and faith in her abilities. Placing the bottle back into her bag, she set it down at her feet before turning her gaze to the disappearing city.

It seemed as though traveling was a simple game of hurry up and wait, but now that they were on the last leg of their trip, Michaela was beginning to think of what it would be like when they got home. In all honesty, she was worried that Sully hadn't waited on them. After all, they were nearly a week behind him. For the hundredth time in the past few days, a moment of panic seized her heart. It was as if there was a kite just out of her reach. She knew that if she didn't catch it now, it would soon fly away, and yet she was frustrated by the gravity that tied her to the Earth. There wasn't enough time. Sighing, Michaela pulled her pocket watch out of her waist pocket and stared at the second hand. Each tick was a second wasted, another moment that Sully thought she had chosen William Burke… or maybe not.

"Did you make it to the telegraph office?" She asked suddenly, turning her attention to Matthew and the reason he and Brian had almost missed the train to begin with.

"Yea, but there whatten nothin' there." Michaela felt her excitement fall. Before leaving Boston, she had sent a telegram to Sully in hopes that he would know that they were on their way. She told him that they would be in St. Louis on the 10th and he could reach them then if necessary.

"Why were ya expectin' a telegram anyway?"

"I wasn't expecting one. I just thought that there might have been one."

"From who?" Colleen looked up from the book she had pulled out.

"I know." Brian smiled. "I bet ya wanted to hear from Sully." Michaela felt her cheeks turn red and instantly knew there was not use in denying it. Colleen smiled beside her.

"Is that the reason ya wanted to leave Boston so quickly?" Matthew asked his brow lowering.

"What did Sully tell you before he left?" Colleen questioned turning up on her hip. Michaela, who was trying desperately not to encourage them, averted her eyes from Colleen's only to be met by Brian's.

"I know! I bet he told ya he loved ya."

"Brian…" Michaela laughed aloud, feigning dismay. However, she made no move to deny Brian's words and both Colleen and Matthew noticed this. With a slight shake of her head, Michaela returned her gaze to the passing scenery, the large smile still playing on her face.

Gazing between themselves, each of the Coopers felt themselves smile. Although none of them knew exactly what had transpired between their Ma and Sully, all of them knew that whatever it was, it was the reason Dr. Mike was so anxious to get home.

**Thursday November 14, 10:00 PM- Four Days later**

**Colorado Springs, Colorado**

Sully crouched low in the underbrush, keeping his eyes keenly on his target. Taking a few more steps, he got as close as he dared to. He paused for a few moments and watched the genteel animal before him. It was a flawless whitetail deer, feeding on the wild forest grass. Sully's hand tightened on the arrow as he raised his bow eye level, prepared to make the kill. His eyes narrowed and he held his breath for what was to come. Then, he made a tragic mistake. Shifting his weight suddenly, his foot slipped. The crack of a large twig could be heard echoing through the forest. The young deer's head shot up, the loud sound alerting it to the impending danger, allowing it to scurry out of the way in time for Sully's arrow to slice through the air only to embed into the tree behind where the animal had stood. Frustrated, Sully rose from his crouched position staring after his useless arrow. Grunting a little, he slung his bow across his back as he tracked across the opening to retrieve the wooden shaft.

"Your mind has not been on your task this morning." Cloud Dancing emerged from behind where Sully had stood not moments earlier. Sully merely shot a look of irritation to his friend as he yanked the shaft out of the tree trunk. Breaking the wood with his hands, and letting the pieces fall to the ground, he made no move to speak, so Cloud Dancing continued. "You have been like this a lot."

"It was just a slip."

"You do not make slips, my friend. Your body is here, but your spirit belongs to someone else." Cocking his head to one side, Cloud Dancing considered his friend, gauging how much further to push him. Of course, the Cheyenne knew what it was that bothered his brother. He was aware of why Sully had left and that he had come home by himself, but this was not the end of the story, not yet at least.

"Who do you think I'm with?" Sully challenged.

"I believe you are still in Boston, still with Dr. Mike."

With a shake of his head, Sully began to make his way through the forest once more, leaving Cloud Dancing to follow. "It's been a week. She ain't comin' back."

"You are certain of this?"

"You're not? Look, she stayed in Boston. She chose William Burke. She had to have, or else she woulda been back by now. I just got ta learn to accept that."

"Do you want to accept this?"

Sully stopped dead in his tracks, no longer able to run from this conversation. Turning to meet his friend's darkened eyes; he shuddered, knowing that they could see through the walls surrounding his heart. "I gotta accept it. I gotta move on. I can't be like this." Sully watched uneasily as the eyes narrowed, preparing to ask a deeper question.

"And if she were to return?" Sully swallowed. What would happen if she came back? What did he want to happen?

"She don't love me, that's clear," Hearing himself say the words aloud was like casting the fact in bronze. It was forever permanent; it was the reality. "and I… I don't know if I can be anything else. I don't know if I can just be her friend anymore." Lowering his eyes to his feet, Sully kicked at a rock before looking back up to his friend.

"Perhaps you need to give her more time."

"More time for what? She's had enough time." Sully shot back, allowing himself to express his anger at Michaela. Well, he wasn't truly angry at Michaela as much as he was just hurt, but either way the hostility in his voice could not be ignored.

Cloud Dancing, however, knew that something was different about today. He wasn't sure what it was the Spirits had wanted him know, but he knew it was important for his friend to wait just another day. "Give her a little longer." He reiterated causing Sully to stumble in his certainty. Taking a deep breath, Sully looked around him before speaking.

"Alright. I'll give her today, but if she isn't on that stage… I'm… I'm gonna be getting' away for a while. I need to refocuse."

Cloud Dancing's lips spread into a tight smile as he nodded slightly to his friend. "I believe this is good" and then looking to the sun. "The stage will not arrive until noon. We have a few hours. Will you continue to hunt?"

Allowing his body to relax, Sully nodded. One more chance, perhaps with this new hope, he could concentrate on his game. Allowing the bow to fall from his shoulder, he caught it in his hand. "Yea."

**Thursday November, 14 10:00 AM**

**15 minutes outside of Denver, Colorado**

Michaela sat staring out the window, praying beyond belief that she would see the silhouette of the Denver skyline soon. She was doing everything in her power to focus her attention on the scenery, trying to drown out the constant bickering that swirled around her. There was no quiet to be found anywhere! Michaela laughed bitterly as her hand clutched at her white traveling frock in irritation.

They had reached the point that every family reaches when they've been traveling for a too long. That point where everyone is frustrated at one thing or another, nerves begin to fray, and a little solitude is written at the top of everyone's list. Unfortunately, Michaela and the children had reached this point more than 24 hours ago.

"What time is it?" Matthew's voice once again sounded in the air, rushing toward Michaela's ears at full speed. She sighed, trying her best to be patient.

"It's five minutes after the last time you asked me."

"I knew it. I knew we wouldn't make it." He grumbled, propping his feet up on the seat across from him."

"What would you like me to do about it, Matthew?" Michaela spoke up, raising her hands to pull at her brow. Her head was beginning to ache; she just needed to be alone.

"We're going to miss the stage, aren't we?" Colleen sighed.

"We already have. The stage for Colorado Springs is leaving right now." Matthew pointed out, causing Brian to look up with concern.

"What are we gonna do now?" Michaela once again sighed.

"We'll stay in a hotel for tonight and leave on the stage in the morning."

"That don't sound like fun." The young boy frowned. "I'm ready ta see Pup."

"Yea, I bet the chickens are so big."

"The pumpkins too. I can't wait to have pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving." Brian licked his lips in the anticipation of the magnificent feast, unaware of Colleen's scowl.

"Well, ya gonna hafta 'cause Ma said we were having chocolate." Colleen shot back.

"We are not! We're gonna have pumpkin pie and ham."

"Since when does anyone have ham for Thanksgivin'?" Matthew interjected giving Brian an offended look.

"We can have anything we want. There aren't any rules!"

"Yea and we don't wanna have pumpkin pie." Colleen bobbed her head as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"But that's the whole reason we planted the pumpkins to begin with!" Brain exclaimed, his voice reaching an unusually loud pitch and making Michaela cringe.

"Enough!" she cried into the little compartment. Turning to face her children she found each of them red faced and scowling. "Thanksgiving is nearly a week and a half away. There is no need to be arguing about this now."

"If you'd only tell Brian…" Colleen started but was cut off by Dr. Mike's hand.

"Why don't you and Matthew take a walk? You could go to the dining cart and get a little to eat." Michaela tried to speak calmly, but her frustration was clearly evident.

Matthew rolled his eyes as he stood. "Come on, Colleen. Dr. Mike wants us outta her hair." He shot a glance over to Michaela before standing and walking out the door, Colleen following close behind.

Once she heard the door shut Michaela felt her body sag just a little. Perhaps she would have time to get a little nap and recharge her patience while they were gone. The dining car was nearly six cars to the rear of the train. In fact, it was the last car, besides the baggage car, and the walk down there and back alone would take at least ten minutes. Surely by the time they got back they would be in Denver. Settling down against the cushions of her seat, Michaela shut her eyes.

"Ma?" Brian's voice came softly from the seat in front of her, where he was thinking.

"Yes, Brian?" she didn't bother to open her eyes.

"We will get to have pumpkin pie, won't we?"

Heaving a sigh Michaela replied as diplomatically as possible. "We'll see what we can do, all right?"

Brian smiled, "'kay." Snuggling himself down into the little seat, he followed his ma's lead and soon was in a deep sleep.

The piercing cry of the train whistle sliced through the air, jarring Michaela awake. Groggily, she rubbed at her eyes, unsure of what was happening. She had no idea how long she had been asleep, but it couldn't have been too long, Colleen and Matthew weren't back yet. Glancing across the little compartment, she was pleased to see that Brian was still snoozing with his head against the window. Smiling at the quite, Michaela sighed allowing her thoughts to float back to Sully. _Tomorrow, I'll see him tomorrow_, she thought, her heart skipping at the idea. Content with the way things were, she slowly allowed her eyes to close one more time, however once again the train whistle pierced through the air, this time lasting longer. Sitting straight up, Michaela's brow furrowed. _What was going on?_ She shifted her gaze to Brian who was waking up, rubbing his little eyes as he sat up. She smiled at the way his unruly blonde hair stuck up in all directions.

"Let me see what's happening." She soothed against his worried expression. Standing up, Michaela started for the door when the unthinkable happened.

An earsplitting explosion vibrated through the train overtaking all Michaela's senses as the car came to a crashing halt, sending her flying into the opposite wall. Pain shot through her body as she landed against the hard wall, her body curling around the seat. Faintly, she could hear Brian scream her name in terror, but his cry was drowned out by the sound of crushing and twisting metal. Flying upward once more, Michaela felt the bags come tumbling out of the overhead rack. The ceiling was falling in causing the wooden paneling to shatter into splinters. Seats were pulling away from the wall, and the windows were shattering. Things were flying in all directions, leaving her disoriented as she struggled to ground herself. _Brian… Where was Brian_? Seeing a glimpse of her son's blonde hair, she made to reach for him, trying to pull him to her chest, to protect him from the hail of metal, glass, and splintering wood as it cascaded down around them. The sounds were deafening as the small compartment collapsed around her, offering no shelter but instead unimaginable devastation. There was no safety; there was no place to turn. Then, as quickly as it had begun, it was all over. It seemed as though the train itself breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that the chaos was over once more.

Michaela came to rest on the bottom of the train car. She knew no direction and was completely unaware of anything that surrounded her. Her senses were spent. Her body ached, pain, shooting through her chest with every breath. She could taste blood in her mouth and saw nothing but the red velvet carpet of the floor, but the worst was the sounds. Cries and moans could be heard in the distance as the realization of pain and terror settled over the travelers. The horrifying sound of straining metal echoed through her ears. Michaela, unable to move, unable to speak was trapped, capable of stringing only a few thoughts together.

"_Oh God… please…Sully…"_ Everything slowly faded before her eyes. As the darkness over took her, Michaela made a final move to free herself, but didn't get far. Grasping for the only thing she could see, her fingers tightened into a determined fist, digging her nails into the plush fabric that cradled her body. Then… her eyes fluttered shut.

_First of all, I'm sorry I left it here while I'm away on Vacation, but I'll make it up to you. I promise! Second of all, let me know what you think! Thanks for reading._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: This story contains semi-graphic details of train wreck victims. If that may bother you, read lightly.

Chapter 3

**Thursday November 14 12:00 PM**

**Colorado Springs, Colorado**

It was a windy afternoon. The cool air was pooling over the mountains and flooding into the valley, signaling that there might be rain tonight. Looking up to the sky, Sully frowned. Everything was so dry. Even the crops were beginning fail. It was going to be a rough Thanksgiving if they didn't get some rain soon. As he made his way into town, he noticed how the wind kicked up the dust from the street and tossed it into the air. It was thick and gritty, making it difficult to breathe without catching a mouthful of dirt. Coughing hoarsely, Sully turned the corner from around the Saloon and froze. The stage had already arrived.

Sully hesitated. He wasn't quite sure what to do. Deep down he felt like running for the coach, scanning the occupants to see if Michaela had been on it, but he held himself back. That voice, the same voice that told him Dr. Mike could never feel for him what he felt for her, was telling him to go slow. He already felt like a fool; he didn't want to look like one as well. As Sully slowly made his way over the coach, he shot a quick glance toward the clinic, concerned that Michaela or the kids might have already left the stage. Nothing had changed, though. The door was shut tight and the drapes drawn. No one had entered.

Sully could feel his heart beat faster the closer he got to the stage. This was it, the last chance. If she wasn't on this stage, it was certain. She wasn't coming back. Crossing his arms defensively across his chest, he circled around the back just to be certain no one was standing on the other side. He saw neither Dr. Mike nor the kids. They weren't there, and what's more, none of their luggage was nearby. Setting his jaw, Sully nodded his understanding. He had once resigned himself to being alone for the rest of his days. Why did that prospect seem so dismal now? It shouldn't because nothing had changed. Sully could go back to the way things were if he needed to.

Lumbering off the boardwalk, Sully saw Robert E. standing near the entrance to his forge. Taking a deliberate step, Sully forced himself to think about his next course of action. He needed to let Robert E. know that he was going out of town for a bit. He wanted to make sure that everything was taken care of if he was needed, but why? He had never concerned himself with this before. He wasn't attached to anyone and no one needed anything from him. Watching how Robert E. nodded to him, Sully knew he had been seen. There was no turning around; he at least needed to stop in and see how his friend's day was going, and therefore he continued to saunter toward his friend, completely lost in his own thoughts.

It wasn't until Sully saw Robert E. expression change, his friend's eyes shifting to something behind him that Sully was even aware that someone was calling his name. Stopping in his tracks Sully turned to find Horace running after him, the papers in his hand flying in the wind.

"What is it Horace?" Sully asked a slight irritation apparent in his voice.

"Sul… Sul…" The lanky man tried to speak, but he was just too out of breath. Bending over and putting his hands on his knees, Horace struggled to take several deep breaths before he was able to continue. By the time he spoke again, Robert E. had come to stand by Sully's side, his brow furrowed with concern. What was going on?

Standing straight up, Horace did his best to look the two men in the eye, but he couldn't… he just couldn't. It was too terrible. "There was a train wreck, just outside a Denver."

"Is everyone alright?" Robert E. was the one who spoke, uncertain of why Horace had run all the way out here just to tell them, and judging by the concerned yet puzzled look in Sully's eyes, he was thinking the same thing.

"Well… I… I don't rightly know right now. They hadn't been workin' on a casualty list." Horace took special caution to answer Robert E.'s question before turning his uneasy eyes on Sully, a look that made Sully shift uneasily. "But they did just send me the passenger list." Swallowing, Horace held out the piece of paper he had been holding before adding, "Dr. Mike and the kids were on the train."

"What?" Sully asked, his mind was struggling to understand what it was he was being told, and then realization settled around him. Falling around him like a ton of bricks. Sully felt a rush of 

air leave his body, as if he had just been punched in the gut. Reaching out with a shaky hand, he took the paper offered to him and scanned through the list until he found the familiar letters.

_Dr. Michaela Quinn_

_Matthew Cooper_

_Colleen Cooper_

_Brian Cooper_

He ran his finger over the smooth surface, touching her name as tenderly as if her were caressing her face. _What happened Michaela? Where are you?_ Closing his eyes, Sully struggled to feel anything. Was she alive, was she breathing, was she in pain? Surely, he would know if she were…dead, wouldn't he? When he looked back up he knew there were tears in his eyes, but he didn't care. "I have to get to Denver." He said, turning to Robert E.

"I'll give you my fastest horse. He'll get ya there in now time." As Sully turned to follow Robert E. back to the forge, he stopped. Turning back to Horace, he called to him without slowing down.

"What time did it happen? When was the wreck?"

"It was at ten o'clock."

Turning back to the forge Sully could feel the adrenaline pumping through his body. Ten o'clock, that was nearly two hours ago, and it would take him at least another two hours to get to Denver_. Please let her and the kids be ok. Let them know I'm coming, let them hang on. Protect them until I get there._ Sully's mind was racing so fast that he didn't even realize he sent his prayer to God.

**Thursday November 14, 2:30 PM**

**Denver, Colorado**

Denver was busting at the seams with people moving this way and that. It looked like organized chaos the way everyone scurried from one side of the street to the other. However, this wasn't all that unusual for Denver, for anyone unaware of the current events occurring not 3 miles out of town, they would never guess that anything was wrong. Unless, of course, they had to go to the hospital.

Wagon and Buggies were scattered in front of the Denver Memorial Hospital, adding to the tension of men and women scurrying in and out through the doors. Some people were sitting quietly on the bench in front of the building while others were pacing back and forth. One solitary man was nervously trying to light a cigar, failing miserable as his hands shook uncontrollably. All this contributed to an environment that made the already nervous Sully even more uneasy, and he hadn't even stepped inside yet.

Part of him didn't want to go inside. If he could stand out here, he would never know what really happened. Everything would stay the way it was this morning, before he had walked into town. However, standing there, Sully knew that regardless of the outcome he would always regret not stepping foot through that door. There was nothing to gain standing out here, and everything to lose. Reminding himself of this simple fact, Sully held his breath and opened the door.

The inside foyer of the hospital was much like the outside. Men in long white coats and women in aprons rushed up and down the hallway, taking the time to speak to no one in particular. There was a woman sitting by the door, huddled under a heavy blanket, shaking severely. A man was standing a little further down the hall with a deep cut on his cheek, spilling blood down face and soaking into his shirt. Faintly, Sully could hear the cries of a little child and the hush tone's of its mother as she struggled to soothe the scared baby. However, amidst all this Sully managed to walk this hallway disconnected to the scenes unfolding around him; his mind focused on one purpose. He had to find Michaela and the children, and he only had a faint idea of where to begin. Noticing a small boned woman sitting at a desk at the end of the hall, he struggled to make his way to her.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for someone." Sully startled the young woman from her paperwork, causing her to jump slightly. Calming herself instantly, she looked up to him nodding.

"How can I…"

"Maria!" a loud voice came booming down the hallway. Both Sully and the woman turned their heads in time to see and older man, most likely a doctor, walking briskly down the hallway, his white coat flying behind him. Looking apologetically toward Sully she frowned.

"Will you excuse me for just a moment?" She rose slightly with her paper in hand, meeting the man halfway down the hallway. There was a moment of brief interaction before she turned back to Sully.

Maria Sumrall had been a nurse for only about three years, and had never experienced anything like the last few hours before. She was shaken, of course, she was fairly certain that this day would feed her dreams for years to come, but she wasn't about to let that affect the way she did her job. All the skills she had gained over the years were beginning to take effect, bubbling to the surface as they became second nature. Looking at the man standing before her, she felt her heart swell. He looked scared and lost. _A loved one_, she thought, and she made a vow to help him in whatever way she could. Yes, they were busy and there wasn't enough time to go around, but Maria simply couldn't stand the thought of turning already discouraged loved ones away, asking them to fend for themselves. _Treat the patient, treat the loved one,_ she had always been taught, and those words more than anything else she kept close to her heart. Smiling softly, but not inappropriately, Maria offered her hand. "I'm Maria." Her tone was soothing and friendly.

Maria's introduction cause a moment of stillness, of calm allowing Sully to take a deep breath. His heart was beating out of his chest. His hands were sweating and his mouth was dry, but somehow he knew that this woman was going to help him. "I'm Sully," he said, offering his 

hand. "I'm looking for…" for who? Who was he looking for? He knew what he wanted them to be, but what were they honestly? "I'm looking for my family." As soon as he said it, the pain hit him fresh. He was standing in the same position he had been so many years ago. He was standing over the edge, trying to hold on to everything he held dear in this life, and it was slowly slipping from his fingers.

"Ok, let's see what we can do. I need names." The young woman said, situating herself behind her desk and opening a ledger.

"Michaela Quinn." Sully held his breath as Maria scanned her finger down the page, looking for the syllables, she had just been given. As her finger got closer to the end of the page, Sully felt himself panic. Why hadn't she found it? "Or Dr…. Dr. Quinn?" Scanning the page once more, Sully watched in horror as the young woman shook her head.

"No, no I'm sorry. She's not in here."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that there is not bed assigned to her name. She isn't in any of our records." Maria watched as Sully's eyes glazed over as realization set in. She could feel his panic resurface. She hated that look in his eyes. "That doesn't mean that she's not here." She rushed to say. "If she happened to be alone on the train and no one knew her name when they brought her in, she would be listed as unknown."

Sully was confused. Why would she have been alone, without being able to speak her name? Unwilling to let his mind wander there just yet, he shifted his thoughts to the children. "There's also Cooper, Matthew, Brian and Colleen." Again, Sully held his breath as he watched her judging finger scan the pages with no result. Then suddenly, "Wait. I have a Mrs. Cooper." Her eyes shot up, seeking confirmation from the stranger only to be disappointed by his downcast eyes.

"No, Colleen's only thirteen."

"Oh, are they children?" Sully only nodded unaware of how this made a difference. "Then they won't be in here. They would have been taken to the pediatric ward."

"Where's that?"

"It's down the next hall." Standing from her desk Maria let her eyes wander to the blank door sitting ominously to her right. Sully caught her hesitated stare and turned to face the door. He could tell that she was trying to make a decision, but he wasn't sure what it was about.

"Can I go down there then?" he asked, jarring Maria from her thoughts.

"Why… Why don't I go and check the ledgers. It was Matthew, Brian, and Colleen Cooper, right? You could look for Dr. Quinn in there." She motioned to the door causing Sully to turn once again.

"What's in there?"

"That's the general ward. It's where they would have taken all the unknowns." Unknown, the very word sent a chill up Sully's spine. How could someone so strong and incredible as Dr. Mike become an unknown? Staring at the door, Sully realized that the answer to that question was the least of his worries, and his thoughts turned darker. He felt his jaw tighten in preparation for his next question, afraid to know the answer, but terrified not to know.

"What if she's not there?"

A silence filled the air between the two people, one that was enough to give Sully his answer, and yet he still needed to hear the words.

"Then, we need to check the morgue." Sully winced openly at the word.

"But what… what … if they're still at the train. They could still bring her in." Turning to Maria, he instantly recognized the compassion behind her green eyes. It was the same compassion he had seen in Michaela's eyes when she was talking to the families of her patients; when she was trying to tell them something they didn't really want to hear.

"Mr. Sully, they're no longer bringing in any survivors."

Licking his lips, Sully turned his attention on the door. This was his only options, then. She had to be in there. Taking a few steps toward the threshold, he heard Maria call behind him. "I'll let you know when I find something." The words barely registered with the man, as he reached for the doorknob.

_Because I love you, Because I love you, I Love You!!_ The words echoed through his mind as his hand gripped the door. There was no turning back. There was never any turning back, ever since the day she walked into his life. This had been his destiny. Sully only wished that he knew then that a year later he would be standing here. Denying himself the feeling of his own breaking heart, Sully pulled open the door.

Before he even entered into the room, Sully's stomach did a flip. He swallowed hard, fighting the desire to vomit. The stench was unlike anything he ever experienced. The scent of blood, sweat, human waste, and burning flesh filled the room. The sound of moans and soft sobbing filled the air as Sully cautiously stepped into the room and pulled the door shut behind him. _This is wrong. We don't belong here._

Scanning the room Sully looked for anything that would point him toward Michaela. Clothing that she may have been wearing, the color of her hair, the shape of her body, anything that looked like her, but the harder Sully looked the harder it was for him to stand his ground. There 

was a woman in the corner, sitting on a cot with her knees pulled to her chest. She was rocking back and forth slowly and whispering something to herself that was unrecognizable. Her eyes were glazed and staring at an unmarked spot on the floor.

To his left, Sully saw a man with blood trickling from his head, standing in the corner clutching his arm. The man's arms had been broken in several places leaving his bones protruding at his collarbone. As he moved between the cots, he became aware of the movements around him.

"It hurts! Do you hear me?!" A pain filled scream flowed into the room making Sully jump before turning around. He watched as a bloodied body frantically struggling to lift himself from the cot as men were struggling to get him to relax. "It hurts. Please, give me somethin', anything!" Sully winced and turned his eyes, wishing he could close his ears as well until the man's cries subsided.

Sully continued to pick his way through the crowded room, pulling the buckskin of his pants and jacket out of the reach of agonizing victims who reached out to him. This was the hardest thing he had ever had to do in his life, to stare into the faces of the men and women laying on these cots and to continue moving toward his unseen goal. It was like staring Death in the face and then trying to forget its stare.

As Sully continued, carefully scanning for the golden, coppery hair that would lead him to Michaela, he felt a hand reach out and catch his jacket. When he looked down, he came face to face with a dark headed woman, desperately grasping for him. She was laying on her back, shaking violently against the cot as her body struggled against pain and blood loss that had become her existence. The front of her cotton dress was singed and left clinging to her skin in pieces. The burn marks traveled up the woman's torso, down her arms, and up to her jaw line, turning her skin into black and red splotches that oozed a clear fluid and leaving her unable to turn her head. Her eyes were big and glassy as she opened her mouth to him. Finding himself unable to move past those haunting eyes, Sully bent over the woman, struggling to hear her words.

"Wa… Water." Her voice was dry and harsh but clear. Looking up, Sully reached for a tin cup and filled it with water. Gently lifting the injured woman's head, he tried to gently pour the cool liquid between her lips without jarring her injured body. As he lay her head down Sully realized that this woman would likely not make it through the night, and there was no one with her. She didn't have anyone to bring her water, to hold her hand, or to whisper to her in her last hours. Sully knew that she must have been special to someone, but now she was laying here, in excruciating pain and completely alone_. Michaela_, he thought her name again and couldn't stand the thought he her laying somewhere alone, scared, and possibly in pain. Sully tightened his jaw so tightly, he felt his teeth hurt, but it wasn't until he stood to continue his search that his body truly froze in place.

At the end of the row where he was standing, there was a cot sitting against the wall. Although the body had been discretely covered by a sheet, it was evident that the corpse was that of a woman, the gentle outline of her features and the slender hand that had escaped the bottom of the sheet giving away her gender. This wasn't what stopped Sully though. It was the white silken skirt that peeked out from the edge of the cot and the coppery brown hair that hung around the edges that made his blood run cold. Forcing himself to move, focusing on each step, he felt as though he floated to the unknown woman, the rest of the world fading around them. Kneeling by the makeshift bed, Sully reached out to touch the pale hand. It was frighteningly cold. Taking a deep breath, Sully slowly pulled the sheet back, away from her head, desperately avoiding the woman's face as he place her fallen hand on the elegant bodice. Gripping the side of the cot, he forced himself to look at her, to take her in all at once.

Sully instantly covered his hand with his mouth gripping his fingers tight into his flesh hoping to feel something, anything. Why was everything numb? The woman's face was turned to the side, exposing only the right side of her face. It was unrecognizable. The flesh had been seared off, leaving a bloody mass in its place. Blood reached up and matted into the long strands of golden hair. The usual features, were distorted. Her eye was bloodshot, devoid of all color but red. Her nose was a swiveled organ baring no resemblance to its usual shape, but it was her mouth that was the most horrifying. The flesh of her cheek had been burned away, exposing the bloody hardness of her bone structure etching out the once beautiful cheek bones, the teeth were left uncovered, pulling upward into an eerie and eternal grin.

Sully ran his hand between the devastated face and the bed. He had to see, for himself, was it her? It was her hair; that same beautiful hair that he had often wished to run his fingers through. Moving to turn her head gently, Sully caught himself. He couldn't do this.

Lowering his head to the floor, he no longer allowed himself to fight the hot tears that he had been struggling against for so long. They rolled freely from his eyes and fell to the floor in pools. He couldn't sit here and do this. He couldn't see her like this. Michaela Quinn was so strong; she was so beautiful. Why did this have to happen to her? Of all the people in this world, she deserved this the least. She had so much left to do.

Sully had been here before; he had lost his life as quickly as he had found it. Why did it hurt so much worse this time? Taking a deep breath, he carefully turned the lifeless head and stared into the woman's eye. Holding back a sob it came out more as a grunt as he covered his eyes with his hand. Suddenly a small hand on his shoulder startled him.

"Is that?" Sully turned to find Martha standing behind him looking at him with sad eyes.

"Blue…" was all he could manage, wiping at his eyes. "Blue eyes… It's not her." Struggling to regain his composure, he stood to face the young nurse. "It's not her." He reiterated as if trying to convince himself. She wasn't here, and he wasn't sure whether that was good or bad.

"I found one of the children." The young woman's voice caused Sully's to look up. "Brian? I found him in the pediatric unit. He's in bed eleven."

"Just Brian?"

"That was all. I'm so sorry." Sully nodded silently. This was it. It wasn't just him anymore. There was Brian; he still had Brian who needed a mother and a father and a brother and a sister. As the world seemed to spin around him, Sully knew that Brian needed him, and he would be there. Following Maria out the ward, Sully found himself struggling with the questions clouding his mind. Sully couldn't help but wonder if he was prepared to take Brian home, to provide the home that he knew the boy needed. Was he prepared to raise a son?

_Alright, back by popular demand... Just kidding. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it certainly wasn't an easy one to write! See you guys soon!_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Thursday November 14 11:30 PM – three hours earlier**

**Denver, Colorado**

It was hot. It was hot and smoky and Michaela jarred herself awake coughing amidst the haze. She was convulsing with every spasm, shooting pain through her body and making her nauseous. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to take deep breaths, which did nothing but suck more smoke into her lungs. Her stomach contracted, causing her to retch as she expelled what little she had left of her last meal. It was enough to wear Michaela out physically. She laid her head against the solid floor, her throat burning.

_What happened?_ She struggled to put her thoughts in order as her eyes scanned her surroundings, trying to determine where she was. It wasn't until she saw the remains of Colleen's bag that things came flooding back to her. Train… they had been on the train and it had wrecked. Struggling to right herself, she realized that she was pinned under a wooden beam.

"Brian!" She yelled into the destroyed car but got no answer, "Brian!" The train was hot and smoky and Michaela knew that somewhere it was on fire. It would be only a matter of minutes before the flames got to them. Her heart beat faster and stole her breath away. This wasn't happening; it wasn't supposed to be this way. They were on their way home. She was supposed to see Sully and tell him that she loved him. They were going to build a life together. There was so much of their story left to write!

Loneliness surrounded her, covering in her a horrifying blanket as she realized that there wasn't anybody out there. No one was coming for her. Beginning to panic, she frantically grabbed for the wood that held her into place, slapping at the material with her hands and crying out it terror. "No… no!" She sobbed into the stillness around her, her fingers tore against the wood, staining the beam with her blood. It was useless.

Letting her hands fall to the floor, she found herself just laying there, her body racked with sobs. This couldn't be it; this couldn't be the way she died. She had so many people who loved her, who cared. Each thought swarmed around her mind, not even taking the time to develop before it had left her only to be replaced by something else. She raced through her home, her friends, her family before she finally came to rest on one person she wanted more than anyone else. Sully. _Oh, Sully_, she thought, her mind focusing on his face. Almost instantly, her sobs diminished, leaving her breathless. _What would Sully say? _Closing her eyes, she tried to make out his clear voice in the haze.

"Come on, ya got this. Just pull yourself out. You can do it." It felt as if he were sitting next to her, encouraging her and giving her strength. _I can do this_. Placing her hands on the base of the beam, she tried to push up as she slid herself out from under her trap. She wasn't largely successful, but gave herself enough room to pull herself from her position on the floor.

Allowing herself only a minute of rest, she propped herself against the crumpled wall. "Brian." She coughed, trying once again to call for her son. This time, even though he still didn't reply, 

Michaela could make out his tiny hand resting on the seat under broken debris. Scrambling to her feet, Michaela winced as her chest constricted and pain seemed to emanate her abdomen encompassing her, threatening to pull her under, but she refused. She cleared the few broken beams and boards away from Brian in order to see him better. His eyes were lightly closed, as if he had just laid down for a nap. Finding a pulse, Michaela sighed in relief. Now they just had to get out of here.

Pulling Brian into her arms, she nestled him against her chest, careful of the gash at the back of his head, the reason for his unconsciousness. Stumbling into the hall, she stopped, looking both ways trying to decipher which direction to go. Which direction was the smoke coming from? Michaela knew that the wrong choice would be fatal. She leaned herself against the wall as she thought, Brian already weighing in her arms. Noticing the way the windows were blown out to her left, she decided to go right, knowing all the while, she had made the decision with her eyes closed.

Slowly, she put one foot in front of another, deliberately thinking of the safety and freedom that existed outside the train. That freedom would be theirs soon; she just had to hang on. She set her eyes ahead of her, knowing what destruction lay all around. She aware of the falling beams, crushed metal and strewn baggage that surrounded her, but more so than this, she knew of the victims, the distorted bodies, she would see if she allowed her eyes to stray. She didn't want to look. She didn't really want to know what she had just lived through. Hugging Brian tighter to her chest, she walked toward the light.

The cold November air hit Michaela in the face, stealing her breath as she stumbled outside, almost falling to the ground. Sinking to her knees, she cradled Brian, once again making sure that there was a pulse. She glanced over his little body, taking note of each and every scratch, every bruise.

"Ma'am… ma'am… are you alright." Michaela jumped as a large hand lay on her shoulder. She looked up to see a large muscular man with a thick, dark mustache and vivid grey eyes, staring back at her.

"Children. My other children were still on board. I need to find them."

"I'm afraid you're in no condition to go anywhere, ma'am."

"But my children…." Glancing up at the train, the stranger surveyed the danger, knowing that it was unlikely anyone else was left inside.

"Where were they?"

"In the dining car at the back." He shook his head.

"Ma'am all the survivors on that car were pulled out nearly half an hour ago. They'd be at the hospital now."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive." The stranger wrapped his arm around her and helped her too her feet. "Let's get you two over to the tent." Michaela, thankful for the strange man's help, limped to the tent in the distance, taking the time to scan the area.

Debris scattered all around her. Metal, wood, coal, anything anyone could imagine littered the ground making it almost impossible to see the earth. The front cars were completely demolished and now were burning with a fury that threatened to consume the entire train. Even the car Michaela had stepped out of was devoid of its original shape. Bodies littered the ground, most covered with a sheet, protecting their identity from view, but some were still alive. Men, women, and children, lay in the open sun unable to move, waiting patiently for someone to take pity on them.

Making their way to the makeshift hospital, Michaela found the workings of a triage unit. The injured were being treated according to the seriousness of their injuries and the worst were being loaded into wagons. Michaela scanned the wounded and realized that there was no way she would managed to get Brian on a wagon. There were too many worse than him. She understood that. It's the same decision she would have made had she been treating these people. Shifting Brian in her arms, she scanned the horizon. The city of Denver was well within reach, and she could see the hospital from here.

"Can I take him from you?" The man standing by her asked, stretching his arms to Brian.

"Um no, Mr…"

"McCullough."

Michaela tried to smile, but knew she must have been unsuccessful. "McCullough, I believe we'll be fine. Thank you for all you've done."

"Let me help you, please."

"No, I believe you've done too much. Really, we'll be fine. I'd like for you to be able to help some others." Her hand reached for her son's head, resting on her shoulder, her fingers running through his hair. Mr. McCullough sighed. He understood what the mysterious woman was telling him, and although he wished to make sure she was all right, he knew she was right. There were more people who needed help. Smiling once more at her, he reluctantly turned.

Michaela was left standing where she was, the lone figure amongst the haze and chaos that seemed to swirl around her. Glancing back to the torn train, she couldn't decide what to do. Could she leave here without knowing Colleen and Matthew were safe? Looking down to the child in her arms, she knew that she needed to get him some place safe. She could come back once he had been treated, but the decision was so difficult. Any wrong move could destroy her world, and she wouldn't even know until it was too late. Closing her eyes once again, she determined to take care of Brian first. She couldn't make him suffer while she looked for Colleen and Matthew. Setting her jaw in determination, Michaela turned toward town and started walking. It took her nearly ten minutes before she even made it to the hospital doors.

The building was swarming with people, physically knocking her to and fro in their rush to get inside. Michaela reached for the wall to lean against. She was beginning to feel a little dizzy. Brian was getting heavy, her arms were aching and she was out of breath, but they were here. Dragging herself into the hospital, Michaela instantly began to search for anyone that would be able to help her. That's when she heard her name.

"Dr. Mike!" the familiar cry, instantly brought tears to Michaela's eyes as she turned to see where the voice was coming from. Both Matthew and Colleen were rushing toward her, followed by Dr. Bernard. Not even registering her other children, she first made a beeline for the Dr. and placed Brian in his arms.

"Please."

"How long has he been out?"

"He hasn't regained consciousness at all." Bernard hurriedly took the boy and yelled at two nurses who were walking by to join him. In a frenzy of medical jargon and swirling white, the team had disappeared behind the swinging door to the pediatric unit, leaving a very stunned family staring after them.

Michaela felt her body begin to ache as Colleen slipped her arms around her. "Oh sweetheart, let me see you." She pulled out of her daughter's arms to examine her face, neck, and hands. Although the girl's face was splotched with dirt, her only injury was a small scratch running across her arm. She had luckily escaped all serious injury. Turning to Matthew, Michaela could tell that he was fine as well. Obviously, the dining car hadn't been damaged heavily. Silently, she said a prayer of thanks for her blessings.

"We were so worried. We thought you'd come to the hospital." Colleen started, wrapping her arms around her mother once more.

"I wanted to look for you, but I thought it best to get Colleen here." Matthew interjected.

"You did well. You did so well." Michaela cried, burying her face into her daughter's hair, glad to have her family together again. They stood like that for quite a while. Michaela relishing the solid feeling of her daughter's touch and Colleen tracing back over the past few hours. She had been so afraid that Dr. Mike and Brian were gone. That she'd never see them again, and then suddenly there they were, tired and filthy, but they were still there. At least, Dr. Mike was, Brian still scared her.

"Ma?" Colleen was the one who pulled back this time, looking into her mother's eyes. "Brian will be ok won't he?"

"Dr. Bernard will do all he can."

"He just… he looked so much like he did when he hurt his head that time."

Michaela swallowed, unsure of what to say to that. "He's going to be alright, Colleen. We have to believe that." Feeling her strength leave her, Michaela sank into a bench lining the wall in front of the plain wooden doors, the doors that separated herself from her son. As she rested her head in her hands, she felt something wet and sticky. Pulling her hand back from her head, she realized that it was covered with blood. "Here let me." In an instant, Colleen was standing by her side, dabbing at her head with a kerchief. She must have hit her head hard and not even realized it. Now that everything was calming down though, she noticed that she felt a lot more than when she first pulled herself and Brian from the train. Her head was beginning to throb in time with her beating heart.

"This is ridiculous." Matthew started to pace the floor, running his hand through his hair. While Colleen and Michaela had clung to each other, he had seemed to withdraw into his own mind. He kept thinking about what he could have done differently. How could he have prevented this? He had promised his mother that he'd keep everyone together! How could he have let anything like this happen to Brian?

"I know, Matthew. I know." Michaela closed her eyes, under her daughter's movements. "If I had my bag I'd let you sew it up." She smiled softly, but it was far too unconvincing to make anyone feel better.

"I shoulda been there."

"That only would have made things worse. You would have been hurt as well."

"I shoulda taken him with us. I didn't take him with us."

"Matthew, this wasn't your fault. He's going to be fine." Stopping in his movement, Matthew turned to stare at his adoptive mother, guilt darkening his eyes and blinding him to his words.

"You don't know that! You can't promise that. Tell me, what you would be tellin' us if he was your patient!"

Michaela squeezed her eyes tightly, her head was hurting worse, and she was getting dizzy. "Matthew, please stop pacing. This isn't your fault."

"Ya know… Your right, this isn't my fault. This is your fault." The words were out before he knew it and even though Colleen looked up at him in horror, he continued. "You're the reason we were on that train. If ya had just gone home when we asked, instead of staying and swoonin' after that Burke."

"Matthew…"

"We asked, Dr. Mike. We begged. It was your selfishness that put Brian in there. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be on that train!" Michaela winced. Each and every word shooting into her heart like arrows. They were all true. She found herself speechless. There was no defense for her, she just had to take his words and bear their meaning.

"Matthew sit down!" It was Colleen that finally reined her brother in, shooting him a disdainful look. Matthew simply backed up against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. It honestly wasn't his fault. His outburst had been born out of a fear that he had not known before and he sought to lash out at anything, but this same fear blinded him to the pain that everyone else was in both mentally and physically.

If Michaela had been in tune with her own body, she would have recognized all the signs of shock. Her quietly shaking frame, her sweaty palms, and her shortness of breath all pointed to that direction. She would have realized that when Colleen pulled her into a tight embrace it was in an effort to still her shivering frame. However, Michaela was somewhere else. She was with Brian and Dr. Bernard, she was with Matthew in his anger, she was with Colleen as she pushed her own fear aside for her family, and she was with God. It was if she were standing next to Him, quietly asking Him to restore her family. _Please, let him be ok. Let me take his pain, he's only a boy he shouldn't deal with it all. _

Michaela was disturbed out of her prayer by the agonizing cry of a woman standing just down the hallway. As the woman collapsed to the floor, a doctor made an effort to catch her. Bending over, it was evident that he whispered something in her ear before lifting her to her feet and disappearing with her into another room. Michaela quickly shifted her view from the sight, feeling as though she had witnessed a private moment that she shouldn't have been privy to see. Glancing up, she saw Matthew's eyes glaring at her, and a moment passed between them. That was the future they feared the most. Knitting her brow, Michaela looked at him helplessly, unable to offer him any comfort.

Suddenly the door opened, and Dr. Bernard stepped out, his eyes scanning for Dr. Quinn and her children. Laying eyes on their worried faces, he offered a comforting smile.

"Well from what I can see, the boy will be fine." Michaela struggled to stand. She was in agony now; the pain in her abdomen was no longer able to be ignored. Gritting her teeth tightly, she tried to focus on what Bernard was telling them.

"So he'll be fine?" Matthew asked, his eyebrows rising.

"Well, he suffered a broken leg, and had quite a hit on the head, however, we won't know more until he wakes up." Colleen took a deep breath and let her shoulder's relax.

"Can we go in?"

"Of Course."

"Thank you." Michaela managed to speak, smiling sincerely at the older man.

"My pleasure. I must check on some of my other patients, but I'll be keeping a keen eye on Brian for the next few hours." Nodding to them, he turned to make his way down the busy hallway.

The next few seconds seemed to happen in slow motion. Matthew instantly moved for the door, anxious to see his brother, but Colleen held back. There was something wrong with Dr. Mike. It was the way her face drew together in pain, and her shoulders hunched over that made Colleen's heart rise in her throat, as the girl slowly realized what was happening.

"Matthew!" she yelled as Michaela let out a small cry, her head rolling back as she began to collapse.

"Dr. Bernard!" Matthew screamed, as he managed to catch his mother before she hit the floor. Frantically shaking her, trying to get her to wake up, he was startled to realize how pale she was. What was happening? She was all right just ten minutes ago. Cradling Dr. Mike in his arms, he tried everything he could think of to wake her up, to get her to open her eyes. Heavy footsteps came rushing up the hallway as Dr. Bernard hurried back to the little family.

"What happened?" He demanded, kneeling by the lifeless doctor.

"She just collapsed." Colleen explained, unaware to the tears rolling down her cheeks. Taking Dr. Quinn from Matthew's arms, he shifted her to the floor, her body curving in an unnatural position. Her hair surrounded her head like a halo, and her arms hung limply by her side. Bernard silently felt for a pulse before moving his hands across her torso quickly.

"I can't feel through the corset!" He grunted in frustration, pressing deep into her abdomen. Her body moved helplessly in whatever direction he pushed it. The gash on her head was beginning to bleed again.

"What happened?" Matthew exclaimed watching the older man's hands still.

"She's must have suffered internal damage. She's hemorrhaging."

"What?! What does that mean?" Matthew still didn't understand what he was being told even though Colleen sat back with a shaking hand over her mouth.

"It means she'll die if we don't get her into surgery, now." Taking a deep breath, he paused long enough to look Matthew in the eye. "I'll let you know how she is when I can, but right now I need to stop the bleeding." Matthew just sat there, staring at his mother's wilted frame. Slowly realizing the Dr. Bernard was asking for his permission, he just nodded his head. Wasting no time Bernard called for a nurse as he cradled Michaela's limp body in his arms. He stood urgently, her head bent backwards over his arm, as her dress drug the ground. "Nurse. I need a gurney!" He yelled once again, rushing down the hallway, leaving Matthew and Colleen staring after him, speechless.

_The wait if over, haha! So for making you guys wait for it, so was it worth it? Please let me know what you think!_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Thursday November 14, 3:30 PM**

**Denver, Colorado**

Matthew sat numb, completely oblivious to everyone and everything around him. Physically he was staring at Brian who was still lying asleep in the small hospital bed. The younger boy looked better. His color was returning and the bruises were no longer getting any worse. In fact, they were all holding out hope that Brian would be waking up soon, but Matthew seemed unaware to any of this. He kept replaying the scene with Dr. Mike earlier. He kept hearing the words he yelled at her and seeing the look on her face, as she understood what he was saying, making no move to defend herself. Matthew knew his adoptive mother well, he knew that she was already blaming herself for what had happened, and to hear her thoughts confirmed aloud by her own son just solidified everything she was thinking. If he had stopped he would have known this, but he didn't stop, he just thought about his pain, his fear, completely oblivious to what his family was going through. Those had been the last words he had said to her and now… now he wasn't sure if he'd ever get the chance to see her again.

Closing his eyes, Matthew leaned forward to rest his head in his hands. He kept seeing that look on her face just before she collapsed. There was such a mixture of pain, exhaustion, and sorrow there that he knew he would carry those eyes with him for the rest of his life. All this had taken place nearly three hours ago, and yet Matthew was unable to push through any of it. He sat there, lost in his own thoughts until he heard Colleen's voice shatter the silence.

"Sully!" he heard her yell and looked up just in time to see her running for the familiar man who looked stunned.

The moment Sully stepped around the privacy curtain and saw all three Copper children his heart stilled sending a chill through his body as relief took over. Instantly he felt Colleen in his arms, still stunned by the change of events.

"Ya ok?" Sully looked toward Matthew who was in turn staring blankly back at him. "Hey, let me look at ya." He pulled Colleen out of his arms just as Michaela had done not three hours before to scan her injuries. "Ya ok?" Sniffing, Colleen nodded.

"Yes, me and Matthew are fine, but Brian…" For the first time, Sully was prompted to turn his gaze to Brian, resting in the bed. Stepping around Colleen, he bent over the boy and touched him on the cheek as if to check for himself that Brian was still alive. He stood there for just a moment, whispering a prayer of thanks for the protection of his family. It all made sense now; they couldn't find Matthew and Colleen because they weren't patients, but Brian had been assigned a bed. His heart was still struggling to return to normal when he heard that recognizable comforting voice from beside the foot of the bed.

"Mr. Sully, if there's nothing more I can do, I need to return to the desk."

"Of course…" Sully began to look around. "Where's Dr. Mike?" He looked directly at Matthew, making the young man squirm under the stare.

"She…" Matthew swallowed, not wanting to say the words aloud. "She collapsed about three hours ago. Dr. Bernard took her to surgery." In an instant all of the calm that had filled Sully's body, had vanished and was replaced by the fear he had held only moments before. Shifting his eyes to Maria, she was already moving.

"I'll see what I can find out." She whispered before stepping out of the room.

Wiping his mouth, Sully ran his hand over his chin not exactly knowing where to start. He wanted to know what happened, he needed to know what was going on, but he could see that both Matthew and Colleen were visibly shaken and he didn't want to hurt them more than they already were. Sitting down, he fiddled with the edge of Brian's blanket, pulling it tighter around the boy; choosing his words carefully before he spoke.

"What happened?" Colleen sighed.

"Oh, Sully there's so much; I don't know where to start."

"Start at the beginning."

Matthew, who was staring at an invisible spot on the floor, was the first to speak, not bothering to move his eyes. "We were comin' home. Ma'd been wanting to leaver sooner, but Brian had a cold and we weren't able to leave until last Wednesday."

"We'd made it so close, but we started arguing about silly things just before we got to Denver," Colleen continued. "Dr. Mike told me and Matthew to go to the dinin' car and she and Brian stayed up front. It wasn't long after we got to the back and sat down that we heard the train whistles and then it crashed." As Colleen spoke, her face began to crumple as she fought against her own tears. Taking the moment to sniff, she continued. "We weren't with Ma and we didn't know where she was, so we came here. It was two hours before we saw her again. She came walking in carrying Brian. She had carried him all the way from the wreck. After Dr. Bernard told us that Brian was going to be ok, she… she just collapsed Sully!" As she began to openly sob, Sully reached for her, pulling her into his arms.

"Ssshhh. It's ok. It's ok, everything will be ok." Meeting Matthew's gaze across Brian's bed, Sully could see fresh tears in his eyes as well. "It's gonna be ok." He said, this time speaking directly to Matthew. "What did they say about Brian?"

"He uh… he said that Brian should be ok. He broke his leg and had a head injury, but we won't know more until he wakes up." Colleen sat up and took a few deep breaths.

"Ahem." A foreign voice cleared the air turning all the occupants of the tiny space in its direction. What they found was Maria, once again standing quietly by the divide. "I just spoke to 

one of the nurses working with Dr. Bernard. He is still in surgery with Dr. Quinn, but he'll be down to speak to you once everything is well."

"Alright, thank you." Sully said, wishing he could do more than just say thank you. She had done so much for him in the past hour he didn't know how to begin to repay her. Maria smiled at the man, knowing that she had done her job. Everything would be all right now. Slipping out of the room, she returned herself to her post, leaving the little family together.

Sully's mind began to race. Where was he suppose to begin? Glancing between Colleen and Matthew, he realized that they were lost as well. They were surrounded by shock and fear, not aware of anything that was happening around them. That was ok, he was here now; he would take over for them. Squeezing his eyes shut he tried to think back from the beginning. What was the first thing they needed to do? Looking up he looked at Matthew. "How about you two get outta here for a minute."

"What? No, I want to stay here." Colleen cried out from her position next to him. Matthew on the other hand didn't even look up. Sully's brow furrowed.

"Matthew? Can I talk to ya for a minute?" Sully nodded to the door as he stood, patting Colleen on the shoulder as he passed her. "Stay here and watch Brian. We'll be right back."

As soon as the two men made it out of ear shot of Colleen and the other's in the ward, Sully turned to his friend, growing increasingly worried by the boy's detachedness. Something more had happened than what he was being told.

"What's going on?" He asked dropping his voice into a soothing tone. He watched as Matthew began to pace the floor, his head lowered to the floor. "Matthew? Matthew!" Reaching out Sully stilled the younger man, forcing him to look up.

"I messed it all up, Sully." Matthew managed to speak, "I messed it all up. I was so blind." Raising his hand, he placed it on the back of his head, struggling to take a deep breath amidst the tears welling in his eyes.

"What? I don't understand."

"I could have done something, Sully. I should have been able to tell she was hurtin' and prevented everything, but I was so scared about Brian. Instead of helping her, I blamed her for Brian, for everything. I told her that she was the reason we were on that train." As Matthew began to speak, he unleashed everything he had been thinking, unable to keep it all in any longer. Burying his head in his hands, Matthew missed the pained look that came across Sully's features as he listened.

Sully sighed; he knew that regret. He knew what it was like to say something only to realize that none of it was true just when it was too late. That type of guilt could eat a man up if he dwelled on it. He also knew that Matthew's words must have struck home. Michaela would have already blamed herself for everything that happened. Clearing his throat before he spoke, Sully narrowed his eyes at the younger man.

"I know ya probably said some things that ya probably regret. Those words weren't true, you know it, I know it, and Dr. Mike knows it deep down inside."

"But I said them Sully, and I might not get the chance to tell her that I wasn't thinkin'. I was just so scared."

"Ya don't think she knows that? Matthew, she knows what it's like to be scared, ta say things you don't mean."

"But I may never get to tell her that. I might never get to tell her I'm sorry, that I don't blame her."

"Yea, ya will, but ya can't dwell on that right now. She needs ya to be there for her." Matthew looked up, puzzled. "Ya got your brother and sister in there who are just as hurt and scared as you are, and Dr. Mike would give anything to get to be here right now, to hold them and tell them that it's all gonna be ok, but she can't. She needs ya to be here for her, to do the things she can't right now." Matthew absorbed the words and realized what he was being told. Sully was right; he had been absorbed in his own pain, unaware of anything else. He hadn't been there the way he needed to, but he could. Setting his jaw, he nodded.

"Yea, yea, I can do that. We'll get through this, right?"

"Of course." Sully smiled a little, glad to know that his words had been heard and taken to heart. Now, what was next? Pulling the medicine pouch from around his neck, he pulled a few coins out and pressed them into Matthew's palm. "I want ya to take Colleen get some clean clothes, and something warm to eat. I'll stay here with Brian in case he wakes up."

"Ok."

United in their next step, Matthew and Sully returned to Brian's bedside.

"I want to say here, just in case." Colleen said looking between Matthew and Sully as they told her what they had planned.

"I know, but I'm gonna stay here, so you two can get somethin' to eat. I won't let anything happen Colleen. I promise." Colleen sat back. I promise, it's strange how those two little words made her feel so much better despite them being only words.

"Ok, as long as we're not gone too long." She moved to stand.

"An hour max." Matthew reassured. Sully was right, this was best; they needed to get away and clear their head.

As the two children walked down the ward, Sully took the seat next to Brian's bed. Left alone with his thoughts for the first time, he began to absorb the past hour and a half, the ups and downs. He was emotionally and physically exhausted, and yet he knew that he would never be able to find rest.

Sully sat vigilantly next to Brian's bed but his thoughts were somewhere else. It was so… so… bittersweet. They were coming home. They were coming home to him and yet it was that very action that almost took them away from him forever. Images flashed in front of Sully's mind, reminding him of what it was like to have everyone together. Colleen reading by the fire as Dr. Mike cooking at the stove, him playing a game of checkers with Brian while Matthew brought in wood from outside. It was so _normal_, and Sully wanted nothing more to return to the way things were. He wanted to see that far away gaze in Brian's eyes when he told a story, and that adorable crooked smile on Dr. Mike's face when they shared a joke. He wanted the chance to be alone with her, to tell her he loved her again. This time he would get it right. He wouldn't let himself leave, this time he would stay. It must be said that he had wondered how he could have done things differently. Deep down, he felt that he should have gotten off that train with her. They should have talked through their confusion and figured out how they really felt. The worst thing of the past week was the wondering and the waiting. This time, however would be different. He would tell her he loved her and look into her eyes and then she would tell him…

_What makes you think she was coming home for you? It's her home, too; it's her clinic and house. _Doubts crawled back to his mind, unable to let him finish his dream. Thinking back over that morning Sully remembered having a similar conversation with Cloud Dancing. What would happen if she didn't feel the same way? At the time, he had ignorantly replied that he couldn't just be friends with her anymore. He wanted more. He was ready for more. Sully wanted to be able to look at Michaela Quinn and be free to think of his love for her, but that was then and this is now. Now, with reality enclosing on him Sully realized that it didn't matter what part Michaela had in his life as long as she was there. He had loved her long before he ever let himself say it and would love her much longer, but that love no longer needed to be consummated. _Anything, I'll accept anything. Just let her be ok. _Sully dropped his head into his hands.

"S… Sul… Sully?" A thick, clouded voice whispered into the room causing Sully to look up.

"Brian…" Sully allowed himself to smile as he looked back into the little boy's groggy face.

"Sully, are we home?"

"No... no. We're in Denver."

"But we were supposed to be going home."

"I know, but some things happened." Before Sully could continue, Colleen and Matthew came walking around the corner.

"Brian?" Colleen stopped wide-eyed, dead in her tracks, causing Matthew to run into her back.

"Hey, what's…?" Matthew followed Colleen's eye and heard himself laugh aloud as elation filled his heart. In one swift movement, both Colleen and Matthew were kneeling by Brian's bed.

Seeing his brother and sister brought a big smile to Brian's face. "Hey Matthew… Colleen." He managed a little smile as he gazed around the people that surrounded him, but someone was missing. Wrinkling his forehead, he looked back at Sully. "Where's Ma?"

"Uh…" Sully glanced to Matthew before shifting his weight. "Brian, do ya remember the train you and Dr. Mike were on?"

"Yea."

"Well, the train crashed and you hit your head pretty hard."

"How did the train crash?" The boy's common sense question threw Sully when he realized that he didn't know. Of all the things that ran through his mind when he heard about the wreck, the cause never even crossed his mind. Matthew, however, spoke up.

"One of the tracks was loose. When the engine ran over it, the track moved out of place and the rest of the train derailed." Although Matthew's words were spoken calmly, Brian still realized the seriousness of the situation and was slowly, albeit reluctantly realizing what this had to do with his question. Squirming a little in his bed, he looked by to Sully for comfort. Hoping that his friend wouldn't say the words he knew were coming.

"Where's Ma?" He asked again, his throat constricting.

"Dr. Mike was in the car with you and she was hurt pretty bad. Dr. Bernard's takin' care of her right now."

"But she's gonna be alright ain't she?" Sully frowned, knowing the words that Brian wanted to hear. The same words he had said to the boy when Dr. Mike had been sick with the influenza. _I promise, _the two little words that made everything ok again. However, this time, Sully couldn't bring himself to make any promises. Taking a breath, he just spoke what he knew to be the truth. "I don't know, Brian." Sully brushed the hair out of the boy's face, seeing the look of fear that lay underneath the tresses, and allowing his expression to reflect the same emotion. They were in this together, but he knew that would never make it if they hide their emotions. Regardless of convention, they were a family and they would lean on each other and support each other, and make it through this darkness. They would see the light again.

Brian's eyes shifted as someone else walked into the little area. Sitting up, Sully turned to find Dr. Bernard standing tall with his hands clasped in the front. He looked tired, as if he had been on his feet for days, and Sully was almost certain he had.

"Dr. Bernard…" Sully stood and offered his hand. "Byron Sully. I'm sure you know…" Sully made a gesture to the children gathered around the little bed and Dr. Bernard merely nodded. He smiled a little as he looked at each of the faces, eyes settling on Brian.

"Well, I'm certainly glad to see you awake," he said good-naturedly. However Sully realized that the countenance was put on to relieve some of the tension that had filled the room upon the doctor's appearance.

"I'm ok. My head hurts a little."

"How's your vision? Is it blurry?"

"No."

"That's good. I'll make sure someone brings you a little something for your head. What you really need right now is rest." Nodding to the boy, Dr. Bernard turned his attention to Sully. "May I speak to you outside?" He asked, watching how the other man stiffened and then glanced at the children.

"These are Dr. Mike's children. I think they want ta know how she is just as much as I do." His words weren't meant to be harsh, and didn't come out that way. He just wanted to know what had happened, and knew the children wanted the same.

"Dr. Quinn suffered severe internal bleeding. She was hemorrhaging significantly by the time we got her into surgery, however, with a little effort we managed to stop the bleeding and repair the damage. There was damage to her left kidney, but I believe that it was minimum and should heal properly within the next few weeks. Unless there is a secondary hemorrhaging, I don't see why she won't make a complete recovery with a little determination and help on your part." As Dr. Bernard spoke his last sentence, he saw relief settle on each and every face. He nodded contently. It was times like these that reminded him why he was a doctor.

Sully felt his breath hitch in his throat as his earlier daydream returned to him as a possible reality. However now all he wanted to do was to see her for himself. "Can we see her?" he asked turning to the older man.

"Of Course, she's on the third floor. One of the nurses would be able to show you her room."

There was little more conversation between the doctor and the family. In reality they could all see the Bernard was exhausted and his day was nowhere near being done, but the kids couldn't think about anything other than their mother. Once they were finally left alone, they began to make plans.

"I wanna go see Ma." Brian exclaimed right from the start, causing Sully to frown.

"Ya need to stay here for a little longer. Dr. Bernard's gonna have someone bring you some medicine and ya need to get some more rest." Frowning, he looked to the other children. His mind flashed back to the unknown woman in the general ward. He could see her mangled face and her charred skin. Swallowing, he wanted to make sure that Dr. Mike was all right himself before anyone else. Turning his gaze to Matthew, he spoke directly to the boy. "How about you two stay here with Brian. I'll step up and see Dr. Mike and then come back for you."

Matthew could see the uncertainty in Sully's eyes. Regardless of his desire to see his ma, he also wanted to do what's best for his family, and he didn't like the idea of leaving Brian by himself. Nodding his acceptance, he turned to Brian. "Yea, me and Colleen'll keep you company." In hopes for distraction, Matthew started a conversation with his siblings over what they were going to do when they got home. Colleen, good naturedly caught on and joined in the conversation whole heartedly leaving Sully able to slip out unnoticed. Walking out of the pediatric unit, Sully turned to the stairs, steeling himself for what was to come.

_Thanks for reading guys! I hope you enjoyed it. Guess what? We get to see Michaela next chapter!!_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Thursday November 14 4:30 PM**

**Denver, Colorado**

"_What are you doing?" Michaela's voice startled Sully from his thoughts as he looked up at her from his seat. How had she even found him? He had gone back to the Quinn house to pack his things; certain that he would be far from Boston by the time she even realized he was gone. Slightly frustrated that his plan had been foiled he simply stared back to her. _

"_That's pretty clear." _

"_You're just leaving?" Her voice held a mixture of anger and hurt but it had no effect on Sully. This is what she wanted, what she asked for. He had jumped through hoops for her and she simply looked the other way. It hurt him; it infuriated him. However, the worst part was that he was jealous. It seemed that within one week he had finally allowed himself to acknowledge that he loved her and in that same instant, that he couldn't offer her anything. _

"_Nothin' to stay for." He admitted, letting his eyes roam her form. She was as beautiful as ever standing there with her chest heaving and her eyes blazing with stubbornness. Her mouth was pulled tight and her hand gripped at her skirt. Her black and white dress hugged her body in all the right places, showing of her beautiful curves and contrasting with the ivory color of her skin. She stood straight, shoulders back and her head held high, accentuating her long slender neck. It __was her small mannerisms, her movements, and her posture that made her contrast so sharply with the townsfolk of Colorado Springs. At home, she was unique, but here, in Boston, she just blended in. She belonged._

"_Without even saying good bye?"_

"_Goodbye." Sully saw a flash of anger at his sarcasm and felt s bit of satisfaction. _

"_Why did you even come here?"_

"_I told you."_

"_Why did you really come?"_

"_Why do you care?" This no longer had anything to do with her. He just wanted to avoid any more humiliation and go home. He wanted to lose himself in the Colorado Mountains, and forget about the mixture of pain and love beating in his chest. _

"_I care!" The simple words were enough to bring him to his feet, confronting her. _

"_It sure didn't look like it back there at that meetin'!"_

"_I asked you a question." She refused to allow him to change the subject. _

"_Why did I come here?"_

"_Yes, why?" Sully's mind was racing. What could he say? He knew why he had come, but he wasn't certain that he wanted her to know; it was so big. The real reason for his actions had consumed him for so long that he wasn't sure that he could contain it any longer._

"_Because!" It wasn't an answer, he knew it wasn't, and yet he was stalling. _

"_Because why?" Sully looked into her eyes, her mismatched eyes and lost himself. He had never been able to deny her anything. Yes, they had had their differences, but he had never lied to her and he couldn't now. _

"_Because I love you!" The words were out of his mouth before he could even react. Shocked at himself, he froze trying to judge her reaction, but it was useless. For the first time since he met her, he couldn't read her. _

_Suddenly, the train lurched forward throwing Michaela off balance and leaving Sully to catch her. Feeling her in his arms once again, Sully never wanted to let her go, but regardless of his own desires, Michaela pulled herself from his embraced. Looking at her once more, Sully was shocked at what he saw. Tears pooled in her eyes as she looked to the exit and back, but what was she thinking? What was it that played under those glistening orbs, uncertainty, irritation? For a split second, Sully thought he even saw fear, but as soon as he saw it, she was gone. _

_Turned and rushed out the door in a swirl of silk and fragrance. Taking two steps toward her, he rested his arm on the outer wall as he watched her disappearing form walk out of his life. _

Sully felt his hand tighten on the hospital door, but he didn't turn the knob. He couldn't. He was so unsure of what it was he was doing. Over a week ago, he had watched as Michaela walked out of his life, and now he found himself walking into hers. Despite the love swelling in his heart, he was fighting the desire to run, to protect himself from this pain. Closing his eyes, he saw the children sitting down in the children's ward, scared and alone. He couldn't leave them. He couldn't do that to them, and he couldn't do that to Michaela. If she deserved anything of this life, it was to know that her children would be taken care of no matter what happened. Gripping the doorknob tighter this time, Sully set his jaw and stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him.

Leaning against the door for just a moment, Sully scanned the cold room. There none of the comfortable touches here that filled the rooms at Dr. Mike's clinic. In fact, the room was void of anything except a few chairs, a dresser, and washstand. Then there was the bed, situated between two small windows. Taking a few steps closer to her, Sully let his eyes roam over Michaela.

She looked so different from the last time he saw her. She looked so small laying in the center of the bed, her body lifeless, and pale. The frustration and stubbornness of their last meeting had completely faded, taking all traces of their existence. Instead, Michaela lay on her back with her head turned to one side. A large bruise reached from her temple to the top of her cheek and back into her hairline. It was alternating colors of deep green and blue, but the center of the bruise, where a long line of sutures ran, was painted with a deep purple. There were superficial scratches that wrapped around her neck and her left arm was in a cast. Lowering his eyes, he tugged at the blanket that covered her, knowing that there were more damages, things that he couldn't see and make better. Sully turned his attention back to her face. Even with the cuts and bruises, she was just as beautiful as always. Her caramel tresses splayed across the pillow, contrasting with the harsh whiteness of the sheets. Her feathery lashes lay against her pale cheeks, fluttering against her skin as she slept. Her body moved in the comforting rhythm of her breaths as if offering proof of the life that thrived in her body. Sitting, he hesitantly touched the hand lying across her stomach, irrationally afraid that it would be cold and stiff, completely unlike the usual warmth and comfort that emanated from her body. Threading his fingers through hers, he brought her hand to his lips, smiling against her skin.

"Hey…" He whispered into the dark, unsure of what he was doing exactly, knowing only that he wanted to talk to her. He was certain she could hear him, and there was so much swirling around in his head that he couldn't keep it in any longer. Deep down inside, Sully knew that if there was something he wanted to say, he shouldn't wait. More time was never guaranteed. "Brian's gonna be ok. He's awake downstairs. Colleen and Brian are sitting with him. He's lookin' forward ta getting to see ya, so ya gotta get better real soon." He sniffed suddenly, struggling against the tears rising in his throat. It was hard to see her like this; her body broken and battered. Yet somehow, even her scars attested to her strength and courage. Sully leaned closer so he could whisper in her ear, wanting his words to be shared only between them.

"I'm so proud of you. You were so brave today, the way ya took care of Brian and got him to the hospital. I know it watten easy walkin' the whole way, but ya did it. Ya kept him safe." Wiping at the lone tear running down his cheek, Sully studied her hand intensely. He ran his hand over the soft skin covering the back of her hand and down her slender fingers. Tracing his fingers across her perfectly manicured nails, he pushed against her fingers, watching the digits bend around his hand. "You amaze me."

Hearing the door open, Sully was jarred from his thoughts. He looked up, not making an effort to move, and watched as the door cracked open.

"Can we come in?" Matthew peeked his head around the corner and scanned the little room, noting the way Sully sat close to Dr. Mike's bedside cradling her hand in his.

Sully nodded, sitting back quickly and picking up the pieces of his aching heart, carefully rebuilding his confident façade. "Yea, come on in. She's just restin'."

The door opened wider and both Matthew and Colleen stepped into the room. Sully could tell that they were both nervous, uncertain of what they'd find, but unable to bear the uncertainty.

"How's Brian?" Sully turned to Matthew still holding Michaela's hand.

"He's asleep. One of the nurses came and gave him some medicine for his head."

"That's good. He needs his rest."

"Yea, but he didn't want to. He wants to see Dr. Mike so bad."

"Yea." Sully ran his fingers across his chin as he turned his eyes to Colleen who was now leaning over her mother, eyes scanning over the menacing bruise while her hand absentmindedly brushed at the loose coppery locks.

"She looks good." The little girl whispered, forcing a smile, but feeling her chin quiver with the effort. Looking up at Sully, she saw understanding and comfort in his eyes.

"Yea, she does. It coulda been a lot worse."

Slowly, but surely, Sully was beginning to pull out his shock, once again trying to determine the next steps that needed to be taken. _I need ta send word to Horace, and Mrs. Quinn. She doesn't even know anything's wrong yet._ Squeezing his eyes shut, he dropped his head. Bags, he needed to get his hands on the bags as well. Raising his head, he looked out the window. Whatever he needed to do, he needed to hurry up, there wasn't much day light left and everything would be closed after dark.

"Colleen, why don't ya come sit by Dr. Mike?" He stood and gave the young girl enough room so she could take his seat. "Here," He placed Dr. Mike's hand in her daughter's. "Let her know you're here." He smiled and placed his hand on her shoulder before straightening. Eyeing a pile of objects sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, he took a few steps closer in order to examine everything. It wasn't until he began to sort through everything that he realized what it was.

"What's that?" Matthew asked lowering his voice and coming to stand close to Sully's side.

"Personal affects," came the terse response as Sully lifted a large piece of fabric from the chair unfolding the layers to reveal the silk embroidered bodice Dr. Mike had been wearing earlier that day. Reaching out, Matthew touched the edge of the material, running his finger over a spot where blood had stained the pure white fabric. He glanced over his shoulder where Colleen was still sitting next to their ma and back to Sully. Looking into his friend's eyes, Matthew saw no life or emotion. His eyes were dull pools and his face a cold statue.

Folding the dress discretely, Sully laid it on a chair next to him. This was almost unbearable to stand here and go through Michaela's things. It was like entering the private sanctuary of her world without her permission. This wasn't right, and yet as he stood there sifting through the objects it was almost as if they paid an eerie homage to their owner. Each article held a specific mannerism, a special purpose, and a distinct fragrance unique only to Michaela. Without her breathing life into the items, they were useless, and so they lay there patiently for her to come back to them, to once again give a purpose to their existence.

A solid gold pocket watch rested under her clothes, next to her boots. Picking up the cold object, Sully ran his fingers over the engraved edges. Feeling the intricate designs press against his 

fingers. He remembered her telling him about this watch before. It had been a long day and he had found her standing on the porch staring down at the ticking hands.

"_Wishing the day away?" Sully asked, shaking Dr. Mike from her thoughts and making her jump. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean ta scare ya."_

"_Oh, Sully it's alright. I suppose I was lost in my own thoughts."_

"_Sure looks like it. What were ya thinking about?" Michaela laughed causing him to smile. He loved that sound. It was so carefree and pure, like the smell of a rain shower on a spring morning. _

"_Not much actually. I was just trying to decided whether I had enough time to grab some lunch before my next patient." _

"_That's a beautiful watch." He nodded to the tiny gold object she held in her hand causing her to beam. Turning to face him fully, she offered it to him, allowing him to take the precious object in his fingers. _

"_Thank you. It was my father's actually. He used to carry it around with him wherever he went. I can still see him pull it out of his vest pocket and flick the cover open. He would always look at the face and click his tongue and say 'Time is the only thing that there is never too much of. Don't take it for grated or it will slip through your finger.'"_

"_He was a wise man." _

"_Mmmm…" She reached over and flipped open the lid of the watch, shooting sparks through Sully's arm as their hands met. "He gave it to me when I left for medical school. See the inscription?" Sully smiled before looking down to the words engraved across the lid._

Eager to read the familiar words once more, Sully turned the watch over in his hands and opened the lid. Running his thumb over the engraving, he strained to read them in the dark.

_Throw your shadow to the ends of the earth. No matter where you go. I'll always be with you._

Shutting the lid with a click, Sully squeezed it in his palm. This didn't need to be thrown away. Out of all these things, this watch held more value than anything else. Sully slipped the watch into his pocket for safekeeping before turning his attention to Matthew.

"Her coin purse." He explained simply, holding the little velvet bag out.

"How much is in it?"

"Almost five dollars."

"Ok, I still have a dollar or two in mine." Turning to the window once more, Sully eyed the lowering sun. "I need to take care of some things before it gets dark. You'll make sure everything's fine here?"

"Yea, I'll stay up here a little longer before I go see Brian. I don't really want him to be alone."

"I think that's a good decision." Sully clasped Matthew on the back slightly as he stepped to the door.

"Here, take this." The younger man offered purse. "Just in case." Sully reluctantly reached out and took the bag, unsure of whether he wanted to use their money or not. He was almost certain that he would have enough for what he needed, but it wouldn't hurt to have a little extra just in case.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Sully scanned the room for the last time letting his eyes scan the little bed. He swallowed harshly and Matthew followed his gaze.

"Don't worry about us." The young man's voice broke the silence, quieting the thoughts running through Sully's head. "We're gonna be fine."

**Thursday November 14 6:30 PM **

**Denver, Colorado**

An hour and a half later, Sully found himself walking back to the hospital once again. He was exhausted. It seemed to be an effort of his entire body to take each step. His shoulders hurt and his head throbbed, but he was doing his best to ignore these things. Rolling his mind over everything, he was trying to decide if there was anything he had missed. He had managed to arrange for the bags to be shipped on the morning stage. Robert E. was going to pick them up and take them to the clinic. Sully also had sent telegrams not only to Horace but one to Mrs. Quinn as well. _That's all there is left to do. Now I can focus on Dr. Mike and Brian, no distractions._ Sully let his head drop on his sore shoulders in an attempt to stretch the muscles. Lifting his eyes to the tall hospital, he tried to determine which window was Michaela's. He finally narrowed his gaze on one little opening on the third floor, the second on the left end. He wondered what had been happening in that little room while he was gone. Had she woken up? Sully couldn't think of anything better than walking into that sterile room and seeing those two mismatched eyes staring back at him, smiling, proving to him that everything would be alright.

However, as Sully got closer to the hospital, his gaze began to shift. There, in the distance he could see the rumpled remains of a train. He stopped dead in his tracks. Until now, he hadn't even thought of the train and he had no desire to see it, but now his curiosity was getting the better of him. Now, he was struck with the need to see what Michaela and children had been through, what they had experience. He wanted to understand the battle she fought. Slipping his hand into his jacket pocket, Sully ran his fingers over the carvings of the pocket watch. He had a decision to make, he could go back to the hospital now, or he could just take a few more minutes. 

Looking up to the sky, he determined that there was still enough light left. Turning from the hospital, he started for the wreckage that lay in the distance.

The wreckage had long been abandoned for the night. The search and rescue efforts had pulled out everyone possible before suspending their efforts until morning. Somehow, the lack of people in the area make the twisted metal and wood seem like an abandoned nightmare existing only on another planet in another time. The front of the train was a smoldering mess, fire having consumed the first four cars. The cars were piled on top of each other, laying on their sides and their roofs. The back of the train in stark contrast looked remarkably normal. Some of the cars had merely jack knifed, giving their passenger's a bumpy ride with minimum injury. The last two cars were even still sitting on their tracks, blissfully unaware as to the reason they didn't get to make the rest of their journey. Sully stood still, speechless at the sight before him. Once again, his eyes drifted to the front of the train. How had anyone survived that? How had Michaela and Brian ever made it out?

Sully took a few steps over to the smoldering mess. Running his hand over his chin, his eyes scanned the wreckage intently. Kicking at a smoldering board, he bent over and picked it up allowing the charred remains disintegrate through his fingers and flutter back to the ground. The sun was beginning to lower in the sky now, the night air began blowing in and the cicadas were beginning to sing their nightly song. Glancing over the wreckage one last time, Sully turned his eyes back to town. He had been gone too long. He needed to make it back to Michaela. As he started his journey back though, a small little shimmer caught his eye.

Sully stopped in his tracks and turned back to where the shimmer gleamed in the wreckage. Swaying back and forth on his feet, he tried to catch the faint glow once more. Sure enough, the glistening afternoon sun struck the glittering object once more. Sully gingerly stepped amid the graveyard of boards and metal, making his way over to the dull object. As he approached the article, Sully began to grab at the surrounding material. For the first time since this morning, his emotions came pouring to the surface and he didn't have to hold them back. There wasn't anyone here. He was alone. Everything was taken care of and everyone was in one place. Grabbing at the wooden boards Sully's anger controlled his hands as he threw them to the side forcefully. Why had this happened? How did he manage to put himself back in this position? Unsure of what he was digging for, Sully felt his hands grasp frantically at the beams. Reaching for the last object, he struck it against the hard earth, shattering it before standing straight. Sully, out of breath, wiped his forehead with his sleeve.

_Why? Why is this happening to us?_ Sully lifted his head to the heavens. _How did I make it back here? I promised. I promised myself that I'd never do this again._ Dropping his head in defeat, Sully's eyes caught sight of a lone object laying by his foot. His mouth went dry. Although made of black leather, the dirtied metal trim was still sparkling in the setting sun. Unsure of whether he imagined it or not, Sully tapped the article with his toe before reaching down and picking it up. It was Michaela's bag.

**Thursday November 14 7:30 PM**

**Denver, Colorado**

Holding the bag underneath his arm, Sully drug his feet tiredly up the stairs and made his way to the now familiar little door. Stopping for a moment to collect himself, he pushed open the door and stepped inside startling Colleen from her seat.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare ya." Sully whispered, setting the bad on a chair before stepping over to the young girl. "How is she?"

"She's doing ok. Her breathing's steady and her pulse is stronger, but she still hasn't woken up yet." As she said the last bit, Colleen bit her lip and looked down at her hands. Feeling Sully's hand on her shoulder, she looked up.

"Why don't ya try and get some sleep. I'll sit with her for a while." Colleen only nodded. She really was getting tired, and she had wanted to check in on Brian and Matthew, but part of her didn't want to leave her mother either.

"You sure it's ok?"

"'Course. Ya need some rest, Matthew too." Rising from her seat, she looked back over to Dr. Mike one last time. Sully followed her intent gaze and immediately understood her hesitancy. "I'll let you know if there is any change." Sully's words seemed to win the battle Colleen was fighting internally. She looked at him and tried to smile.

"Ok." She whispered, "I'll just be downstairs."

With the shut of the door, Sully was once more left in the sterile little room. Glancing back to the still form laying in the bed, he turned away from her and rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair. His eyes caught hold of the little bag. _Michaela._ He breathed her name as he reached for the black leather, the symbol of her strength of her determination, now singed and warped. Flicking open the clasp, he looked inside, pulling out contents as he went. Little bottles of medicine had shattered, leaving shards in its place and cloth bandages were damp with moisture. Reaching into the bag, he pulled out a scalpel and twirled it around his fingers. The oak handle was wet and softening and the blade had warped in the heat of the train compartment. He ran his thumb over the now blunt blade. The scalpel, once a beautiful instrument that could perform miracles in the right hands, was now useless. As Sully stood in deep examination of the instruments in his hands, he heard a soft moan rise behind him.

Turning swiftly, Sully watched the little bed intently. Was she awake, or had he merely imagined it? Setting the medical bag on the chair, he stepped over to the bed. There… her fingers moved! Sully felt his heart steel in his chest as he watched the strained movement. In two steps he was by her bed, lighting an oil lamp before turning his eyes to her.

The soft, golden glow filled the room, taking the place of the setting sun. It was as if hope was once again filling the world, promising a future. Michaela slowly nuzzled her face against the scratchy pillow before struggling to open her eyes.

"Dr Mike?" Sully whispered ever so softly, reaching out to run his fingers over the back of her hand. That voice, she recognized that voice. It was so familiar she didn't have to linger in her thoughts. Instinctively she knew who had spoken her name.

"Sul… Sully." Struggling to form her words, Michaela's voice came out in a slur, but Sully didn't mind. It felt like it had been years since he heard that familiar alto form the syllables of his name. He smiled, unable to contain his joy.

"I'm here. I'm here. It's all going to be ok." Michaela felt the fingers tighten around her hand, encircling it in a warm embrace. Struggling against the alien light, she tried to open her eyes. She wanted to see his face. Lifting her lids slightly she could make out his blurry outline. His hair hung lively around his face. His eyes watched her intently, dancing in the golden light and the corners of his mouth were pulled into a relieved smile. Seeing the familiar features leaning over her brought comfort to her heart. Sighing softly, she smiled as her eyes dropped closed again.

"Sully…" she repeated his name once more lifting her hand in order to grasp his hand better. "You came."

"'Course I came." Sully could hear the relief in her voice. It was almost as if she was afraid she would be left alone, as if he wouldn't come. Yet, deep down inside, Sully knew that there was no way he wouldn't have come; he couldn't not be by her side. He felt her hand tighten around his fingers.

"I'm glad." She slurred, forcing in her eyes open once more. Somehow, those two little words filled Sully's heart and calmed his doubts. She was glad he was here. She wanted him here and here he would stay. Lifting their joined hands to his lips, he placed a soft kiss to the back of her hand.

"Good, cause I ain't going nowhere." Michaela swallowed hard, licking her lips in the process. She was struggling against the haze of her mind to reconstruct everything that had happened the past few days. Suddenly, she stiffened and Sully felt her hand tighten around his. Forcing her eyes open, she looked up to him.

"Sully… children." She choked out, void of the energy it took to form a complete sentence. Her eyebrows knitted as she waited for his answer.

"They're fine." He soothed, reaching up to smooth her hair. "Brian hit his head, but he's been awake. He's lookin' forward to seein' ya, an' so are Matthew and Colleen." Michaela relaxed against the bed.

"So am I." Her words were jumbled as her eyes fluttered closed once more and didn't seem to make much sense, but Sully knew what she was trying to say. His eyebrows vee-ed as he watched her movements and listened to her words. She seemed almost lethargic in the way her words slurred and eyes were glazed. It was if she was struggling for every movement she made and quite frankly that concerned him. Was that normal? Did she hit her head too hard or was she 

still feeling the anesthesia from her surgery? Watching the way she consciously took at deep breath, he struggled to determine what she was feeling.

"Dr. Mike? Are ya easy?"

"Humm?" She hummed softly as her head turned lazily toward his voice.

"Are ya easy?" He repeated his question, unsure of whether she didn't hear him or she didn't understand his question. Pausing for a moment, he rephrased his question. "Are ya in any pain?" Sully watched as his words slowly dawned across her face.

"Mmmm, no." She slurred. "Still numb." Forcing her eyes open once more, she saw him nod his understanding as he moved to pull the blanket tighter across her body.

"Ok then, you get some sleep. It's all going to be ok now." Taking his words to heart, she felt his hand return to hers, enveloping it in warmth and promise. Everything was going to be all right. Sully was here, he would take care of everything, all she had to do was let go. Sighing softly to herself, Michaela once again let darkness consume her, this time into peaceful dreams.

_Thank you guys for reading!! I'm having such a good time with this story and I hope your enjoying this. _


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Friday November 15 2:30 AM**

_The horrifying sound of crushing metal surrounded her, throwing her forward and leaving her to clutch the seat across from her in desperation. Swirling colors filled her vision as she struggled to find the children only to realize that she was alone, desperately alone. Coming to rest on the floor, Michaela watched in horror as the doorway, her only means of escape, crumpled before her eyes, leaving her no way out. Then, as quickly as it had started, it was all over and Michaela was left alone with nothing more than the sound of her own labored breathing to break the silence. _

_Struggling from her position, she pushed at the broken wood and warped metal that surrounded her and attempted to make her way over to the now devastated doorway. Grabbing at the debris that stood between her and safety, Michaela jerked her hand back. It was hot, blistering hot. This simple fact hadn't even taken the time to sink in before a loud explosion shook the very earth beneath her feet. Screaming in terror, Michaela collapsed to the floor, attempting to cover her head with her arms. This time, however, once all was done there was not silence but the crackling roar of fire as smoke began to through the cracks of the rubble. _

_Fire, everything was on fire. Scrambling from the doorway, Michaela desperately looked around her. There was no other way out; she was trapped. Pulling at her skirt, she struggling to tuck the mass of silk around her body, separating it from the flames that were beginning to dance through the rubble. Michaela could feel her breath hitch as she began to gasp for air. It was getting hot. Beads of perspiration glistened across her forehead and shoulders as she scrambled __away from the fire. There was no way out. The flames dance closer and closer to her as she began to cough in the smoke, and then…_

"_Michaela! Michaela!" She heard her name from behind the exterior wall. She knew that voice. It was Sully. He had come for her; he was going to save her! Scrambling to her feet, she wiped at the muck and smoke that was clinging to the window. _

"_Sully!" She pounded on the window in a desperate attempt to gain his attention. "Sully!" She watched as his form stilled before turning to face her. She could see the relief in his eyes as he struggled to make his way to her. Why did he come? How had he known? So many questions ran through her mind and yet none of them mattered at all. Placing her hand over his on the glass she struggled to stay calm. "Sully. The train's on fire!"_

" _Hang on. I'm gonna get you out!" Michaela watched as his eyes scanned the surrounding area, struggling to determine how to get into the car. _

"_Sully!" She cried his name once more as she turned to find the flames dancing dangerously close to her body. "Sully!" Oblivious to the tears running down her cheeks, she clutched at the window facing. It was so hot. _

"_Michaela!" She heard him call her name as he pulled his tomahawk out of this belt and began to strike the window, but he was too late. Even if he managed to break the window he wouldn't be able to get her out in time. _

"_Sully." She whimpered his name as she felt the heat encircle her body. The pain was unimaginable, the way it tore through her abdomen and showed her now mercy. Her body crumpled in pain, her arms shaking in resistance to the flames surrounding her. She couldn't breathe. Squeezing her eyes tight, she slumped to the floor. Then… she felt someone grasp her wrist. _

Michaela's eyes shot open as she gasped for air. She was shaking uncontrollably and she felt tears run from the corners of her eyes. The room was darkened around her but she could still make out enough to know she was no longer in the train compartment. There was no fire raging around and she was no longer trapped. It had all been a dream. She was safe, none of the horrors of what she had just suffered had been real, but if that was the case why did it seem like she was still on fire? The pain that encircled around her waist was still thriving within her, threatening to destroy her. Struggling to sit up from the bed, Michaela felt herself being held in place.

"Michaela… Michaela, can you hear me?" The familiar voice floated to her ears once more as if to suggest not all had been part of her dream. Forcing her eyes open, her gaze locked with the piercing blue that stared back at her, a trouble, pained gaze. He was leaning over her, whispering something incoherent as he pressed steadily against her struggling form. "It's ok. They're gonna bring ya something. They're on their way."

Michaela gasped for breath, tired as she struggled to make sense of his words. Biting her lip against the ever-growing pain, she reached up and grasped at his wrist. Unaware as to how she squeezed his arm, she struggled to roll her body over, an effort to escape the pain of her position. Pulling her legs up, she felt Sully flip his hand over to grasp hers, holding her as steadfast as she clutched at him. It didn't matter; she couldn't escape it. Her very existence was pain and suffering and no matter what she did she couldn't relieve the burning in her abdomen and chest. Too tired to fight it any longer, Michaela simply resigned herself to clutching at the feather tick. She sobbed.

Sully had never felt so helpless in his life as he watched Michaela suffer before him. Each sob seemed to tear into his own heart, each tear seemed to wet his own cheeks. Kneeling by her bedside, he gently ran his hand up and down her back encompassing her in his gentle embrace. "It's ok. It's gonna be ok. It'll be over soon." Shifting his weight on his knee, Sully felt relief fill his chest as the little door opened and a nurse appeared in the threshold. Skirts rustled as she made her way hurriedly to the other side of the bed.

Quickly moving the store of blankets aside, the nurse tugged on the sleeve of Michaela's robe. Sully watched intently as the nurse pulled out a needle and with a swift movement injected a clear liquid into her smooth arm. "Ok, that should be enough." She whispered, looking up to Sully. "She should drift off shortly. Let me know if it doesn't help." Sully nodded swiftly, not bothering to take his eyes off Michaela. She had calmed down significantly, but her eyes were still squeezed tight as she shook uncontrollably against the feather tick. Hearing the door shut at the foot of her bed, Michaela ventured to speak.

"What…" Her words were spoken through gritted teeth, and by themselves didn't make sense, however, Sully once again read her thoughts.

"It was just a little morphine. It'll help soon." He whispered as he gently rolled her to her back. "It'll all be over soon." Reaching for an extra pillow, he tucked it in by her side and watched as she drew her knees up and rested them to the side, curling herself into a safe cocoon. Her breathing slowed as her muscles began to relax. Struggling to open her eyes, everything around her seemed as if it were floating. Her head was swimming as the morphine began to coarse through her veins. Lazily reaching out to Sully, she felt the bed depress as he bend toward her, struggling to hear her words.

"Thank you." The simple words made Sully grin as he watched her eyes close lazily. Assured that their moment of panic was over, he laid her hand across her chest and pulled the blankets tighter across her body.

"Shhh… It's over. Get some sleep, now."

**Friday November 15, 9:00 AM**

**Denver ,Colorado**

"He still asleep?" Matthew asked in a low whisper as he once again stepped around the privacy curtain and into Brian's little room. He paused long enough to hand Colleen a cup of hot tea before taking his seat on the other side of his brother.

"Yea, but that's alright. Dr. Mike would want him to sleep. It's good for him." Colleen answered instinctively, not really taking her eyes off her little brother. Matthew following her gaze allowed silence to settle around them. He could tell his sister was deep in thought, struggling through the muddiness of her own mind, and as much as he wanted to help her, he knew she would come to him when she was ready. Taking a deep breath, he sat back in his chair and sipped on his tea. It was a good five minutes before Colleen broke the silence.

"Does it ever bother you?"

"Does what bother me?" Matthew sat forward in his chair and set his cup on the bedside table.

"How it can change so quickly. Everything is so fragile." She shifted her gaze from the wall to her older brother who was looking at her with his eyebrows raised.

"It's always been that fragile, Colleen. You know that. You work with Dr. Mike all the time. You see it every day."

"But it's so different. It's different when it's someone else."

"No one's guaranteed protection. Everything could have been so different. We could have lost them both, and then what would have happened us?"

Matthew smirked a little, trying to lighten the heaviness of the conversation. "Come on, Colleen. You think we can get rid of Dr. Mike that easily? She's too stubborn." The lightheartedness hit its target and Matthew watched as a grin graced his sister's face, and then once more his face became solemn again. "Just don't live in the world of what ifs. Stay with us, we need you more." Matthew was well aware of the irony of his words. That he was repeating the same message that Sully had given him not twenty-four hours before. He understood, though. He knew the importance of what Sully had told him and how it shed light into the darkness he had been living in.

"I won't, it just… sometimes it takes my breath away when I think about how close we came." She paused for a moment before changing the subject. "Sully said Ma woke up last night." She said smiling.

"Yea, he said they had ta bring her some morphine."

"That's not unusual. Do you think she's awake now?"

"Sully said he would come and get us if she woke up again." Colleen frowned slightly.

"He's been with her all night. I bet he's tired."

"Yea, I think I might go up and sit with Dr. Mike for a bit. Would you mind?"

"No, go ahead. I'm going to stay here a little longer."

Rising from his seat, Matthew took one last glance over his brother and sister before slipping upstairs. He found Sully, leaned back in the chair next to Dr. Mike's bed carefully examining her pocket watch. He watched as Sully opened the watch and examine that face, as if he were trying to speed time up.

"How's she doin'?" Matthew broke the silence as he stepped into the room.

"She's fine. Hasn't woken up anymore, but that's a good thing considerin' how much pain she was in last night." Matthew stepped over and looked at his mother before turning his attention back to Sully. Clasping the older man on the back, he nodded to the door.

"How about you take a break. You've been here for awhile."

"I'm fine, Matthew really." Matthew could see both hesitancy and concern in his friends eyes, and for the first time he remembered the conversation Dr. Mike and them had back in St. Louis. What had happened between Dr. Mike and Sully? Was Brian right? Had Sully told her that he loved her? It wouldn't have surprised him at all. Matthew always knew there was something more between the mountain man and their ma, but somehow this thought the idea that Sully had finally admitted his feelings turned this situation even more on its head. As Matthew opened his mouth to protest, he was stopped by the door opening behind him.

"Mr. Sully?" The soft voice came fluttering into the room, causing both men to turn toward the door. The young woman stood with her head, in the doorway. She looked tired as she lowered her eyes, shyly. "I'm sorry to bother you, but you have a telegram." Rising to his feet, Sully motioned for Matthew to take his seat as he stepped into the hallway.

Smiling his gratitude to the young woman, Sully took the white slip of paper in his hand.

_Mr. Sully. Telegram received. On my way, be in Denver soon. E. Quinn._ Taking a deep breath, Sully crumpled the telegram in his hand. He could only imagine how his news had been received.

**Friday, November 15 8:00 AM**

**Boston, Massachusetts**

Mrs. Quinn had been enjoying a quite breakfast to herself this morning. She was sitting at the dining room table, sipping at her orange juice when Martha came in with a telegram laying on a silver tray.

"Mrs. Quinn, you have a message. It was labeled as urgent." Elizabeth, immediately looked up at the sudden news and motioned for Martha to come closer. Lifting the telegraph off the tray, she felt her shoulders tense. Why did she have such a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. As she read the words her face was stone cold, registering no emotions and she stood from her chair.

"Martha, have Harrison go to the train station and purchase a round trip ticket to Denver. I hope to leave this afternoon." As she made her way to the stairs, the usually determined Elizabeth Quinn felt her knees shaking.

**Friday November 15, 11:30 AM**

**Denver Colorado. **

Colleen was startled out of her reverie by a small groan. A few hours ago, Sully had come down to check on Brian, offering to take her place while she got some lunch and went to check on her ma. She and Matthew both had been sitting contently by the little bed both doing little projects in an attempt to keep their minds busy. She had managed to find a dime novel at the mercantile the day before and Matthew was keeping vigilant witness out the window, watching as people scurried to and from in front of the hospital. Again the same little groan broke the silence. Looking up from her book, Colleen's heart stilled.

"Matthew!" she whispered urgently as she moved to sit on the edge of Dr. Mike's bed. Matthew turned from the window to see the best sight he could ever remember seeing.

"Ma!" He almost seemed to laugh her name as he knelt by her bed, watching as her drowsy eyes scanned the room, trying to put everything together once more. Once her eyes rested on her children, however, her lips pulled into a bright, albeit strained smile. Reaching her hand to Matthew, he gladly took it and covered it with his own. "Hey, sleepy head." He teased lightly feeling the strain of the past day, lift from his shoulders.

"Hello." She squeezed his hands softly as she turned her eyes to Colleen. "It's good to see you."

"Oh, it's so good to see you too!" Colleen exclaimed her cheeks aching with excitement. "You look so good." At the sound of her daughter's words, Michaela strangled a laugh and rolled her eyes, not believing her words for even a moment. Even the small gesture on her part was cheery enough to spread sunlight through the sterile hospital room, but concern still hide behind Matthew's eyes. Rolling her head toward him, she watched him intently.

"What happened?"

"The train wrecked. The first few cars were completely derailed, including the one you and Brian were in, but your safe now. Everyone's safe." Matthew paused for a moment, allowing Colleen to tell the rest.

"After you made it to the hospital and saw that Brian was taken care of you collapsed in the hallway. Dr. Bernard took you into surgery. There was a good deal of hemorrhaging, but he managed to stop it in time. You have a laceration to your left temple and your left arm is broken, but that's all. Your were lucky." The last of Colleen's words make Michaela smile.

"Spoken like a true doctor." She whispered, struggling to cover her daughter's hand with her weakened left hand.

"Dr. Mike…" Matthew started unsure of whether to speak what was on his mind. Part of him wanted to take this wonderful opportunity in his arms, but he didn't want to burden Dr. Mike with his own problems. However, now as he had started his statement, he watched her caring eyes turn toward him he knew he couldn't go back now. "I… uh… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I said to ya earlier. None of this was your fault I was just-"

"Shhh. It's all right. It's over now." Sighing, Matthew felt his smile grow wider, if that were even possible.

"Yea, your right."

"How are ya feelin', Ma?" Colleen asked.

"Um… in all honesty?"

"Yea…"

"I'm actually a little hungry." Matthew actually laughed Colleen smiled beside him. They both knew that was a sign that her body was slowly healing, proof that everything would truly be all right now. It was an answer to their prayers and Michaela, seeing the relief on her children's face felt herself smile as well, if only slightly.

"Well," Matthew said, giving her hand a quick squeeze, "let's see if we can find ya somethin' to eat."

_Well there's chapter 7. I hope you enjoyed it!!_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Friday November 15 6:00 PM**

**Denver Colorado**

Michaela stirred restlessly in her bed causing Colleen to look up from her book. The young girl watched her mother for just a moment, until she was certain that Dr. Mike was still sleeping before allowing herself to relish the relief that tingled through her body. Smiling, she raised her eyes to Sully, quietly standing by the head of the bed, staring out the window. His stance was wide and his arms were crossed defensively across his chest. Colleen mused that he looked like a tall statue, like one of the satues guarding the entrance to library in Boston, just standing there patiently and watching the people swarm while his treasures remained safe. Colleen understood that it wasn't just Dr. Mike he was protecting. He was guarding them all. Completely content for the time being, Colleen lowered her head back to her book, her mind scanning over the past few hours.

_Matthew had been true to his word when he left in search for something Dr. Mike could eat. He returned not ten minutes later with a cup of chicken broth and Sully not trailing too far behind. Each member of the little family filled with hope as they saw the last leg of their long journey lay out before him. Once Dr. Mike was well enough to travel they would all go home, and this horrid dream each of them shared would soon be over. Each of them felt this; each of them yearned for the day that they could sit and say "do you remember when" and somehow seeing the calming __hazel and green of Dr. Mike's eyes smiling at them promised that this day would come sooner than they thought. _

_Dr. Mike only had a few sips of the broth, but that was all she truly needed. After that, everyone merely sat and talked. They talked of Boston and the train ride home, of everything that had happened, and of everything they would do when they returned home. Colleen sat close to her mother's side, clutching the small white hand in an effort to remind her that none of this was a dream. Her ma really was awake. Matthew in turn sat gingerly on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his knees quietly whispering between his mother and his sister while Sully never released his role of guarding. He stood back slightly from them leaning against the wall, more an observer than an actual participant. Every once in a while, Matthew would ask him a question or Colleen would turn to him with a smile and Sully would reply curtly with a nod of his head, answering questions with only a few words. His eyes locked with Michaela's on more than one occasion and he felt the corners of his mouth tug into a smile, one that matched the soft grin playing on her face. These were words spoken between them, silent and private in a room in which they were not alone, but it held promise of what was to come, a conversation they were both eagerly awaiting. However, the words they desired to speak, the promises they hoped to make would have to remain buried just a little longer._

_The family sat and talked for a while, simply enjoying each other's company when Dr. Mike began to tire again. It was understandable, she had been through quite a bit over the past two days, and no one expected her to be able to spring back to normal so soon. Standing from his place at the bed, Matthew tucked his mother in ,whispering for her to sleep well before heading __downstairs to see his brother. Colleen bent to kiss Dr. Mike on the cheek as she rose from her seat to retrieve her book. Sully took the opportunity to close the space that separated him from his heart. Watching him through tired eyes, Michaela smiled at the way his lithe form moved across the room so determinedly. Although he held no obvious emotion in his expression, it was almost as if he were beaming. Pride radiated from his eyes and Michaela could look at nothing else. Reaching out with calloused fingers, he tapped the side of her chin and smiled at her. Saying nothing more, he simply winked at her as he dropped his hand to pull the blanket tighter around her weary body. Watching her eyes close, Sully dropped to the chair next to her bed. _

Pulling her legs to her chest, Michaela crossed her arms under the blankets. She buried her face in her pillow as she struggled to tuck her blanket under her chin. It was so cold. Opening her eyes, she found herself staring at the wall, vaguely aware of Sully standing near the window above her head. Taking a deep breath, she shut her eyes again; her eyelids burned. _What's wrong with me?_ Michaela felt her body shiver under the blankets. She felt so strange; she was cold, but at the same time her innermost being seemed so warm. Michaela could feel every muscle in her body tighten to resist her shivering body, but it was no use. She was tired. Reaching her fingers out of the warmth haven of her bed, Michaela touched her face, feeling the pads press against her flushed face. Opening her eyes once more, she stared into space, not registering lines or light, aware to only how she felt. _Please, no…_Struggling to raise her head on the pillow she settled for merely tilting it upward, toward the light that filtered into the room. Michaela swallowed against the hot bile rising in her throat as she struggled to find her words. "Sully…"

Sully was startled from his thoughts by a strained whisper, a cold moan that drifted to his ears contrasting sharply with warm sunlight he was standing in. Turning quickly his eyes lay instantly on Michaela, resting in her bed with the blankets pulled tightly around her body. Was she shivering? Sully's brow drew together as his eyes locked on her pale and drawn face. Feebly, she reached for him.

"I'm here." He whispered, instinctively grasping her hand and enveloping it in his. She strained to pull him toward her.

"Sully…" He watched as her eyes closed and open again before she continued in a weak murmur. "Am I running fever?" Sully felt his heart still as he laid his palm on her forehead. Swallowing, Michaela helplessly lay under his hand, patiently waiting the answer she already knew.

"Yea," he whispered urgently taking time to glance up to Colleen, who was watching them intently, eyes wide. He wasted no time; in one graceful motion he circled his arms around Michaela, gently rolling her to her back.

"Check for infection." She managed to whisper, letting her head roll to one side. Sully, however, had beaten her to it. He was already pulling at the blankets aware that Colleen had come to hover over her mother as well. He helped Colleen only to manage the robe that wrapped around Dr. Mike's waist before diverting his eyes. Despite his desire to help, to see for himself the tint of the skin surrounding the ugly scar, he knew that it wasn't really appropriate, and, what's more, it would embarrass Michaela for him to see her like this. Therefore, Sully practiced self-control, battling every muscle in his body that told him to take charge of the situation. Noticing the way Michaela shivered against the mattress, he pressed a hand to her shoulder.

"Hey, stay with us, ok? Just hang on a little longer." All Sully got was a weak hum in return. Turning suddenly, Sully threw the door to the little room open and shouted down the hallway. "Nurse!" He didn't even pause long enough to see if anyone heard him before he was back by Michaela's bedside.

"It doesn't look infected. It's not even hot." Colleen exclaimed when her examination was over. She was completely puzzled. Dr. Mike had always said that infection presents itself with fever, heat, and irritation around the incision area, but everything looked normal. The skin surrounding the suture line looked fine.

"What does that mean?" Sully looked up at her unsure of what she was saying. Was this good or bad?

"I don't know." Colleen matched his concerned gaze helplessly.

"What's going on?" The little nurse glided in the room causing both Sully and Colleen to straighten.

"She's running fever." Sully answered, stepping aside so the nurse could examine Dr. Mike. Straightening, the nurse frowned.

"I'll get the doctor."

**Friday November 15 7:30 PM**

**Denver, Colorado**

"But I wanna see Ma!" Brian cried for the third time. He was sitting straight up in his bed with his legs crossed before him. For the first time in so many hours, his head didn't hurt and he wasn't sleepy. He was ready to see his mother.

"Ya can't right now. She's sleepin'." Matthew was getting rather frustrated at his whiney brother. Setting his jaw, he stared back at Brian, trying to stand strong. He wasn't giving in to this one.

"But you and Colleen get to see her when she's sleepin'!"

"That's cause we ain't gonna wake her up."

"I wouldn't wake her up." Brian's voice lowered, as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Now don't you go poutin'."

"It ain't fair Matthew. Ya got to see her. Ya got to talk to her." As Brian's voice lowered, Matthew saw the pain and disappointment in his brother's face and for a moment could put himself in the boy's place. Brian hadn't even gotten to see his mother. He didn't know what she looked like or how bad she was hurt. He knew nothing. For a moment, a brief second, Matthew let himself sit where Brian was and felt his fear.

"Hey," Matthew reached over and tapped his brother on the arm. "next time she wakes up… I'll take ya up to see her, even if you're asleep." Brian smiled as he nodded, letting his brother's promise make him feel better.

"Ok…" pausing for a moment, Brian looked up to see Sully step around the curtain, his face tired and strained. Both boys knew that something was wrong. Matthew instantly stood and grabbed Sully around the arm.

"What's wrong?"

"Sit down… sit down." Sully spoke through gritted teeth, trying to control his composure. He couldn't lose this in front of the boys. They were scared enough and they were all looking to him to know that it was going to be ok. Pushing Matthew back down into the seat he had previously occupied, Sully took his own seat on Brian's bed. "Somethin' happened." He took a deep breath. "Dr. Mike woke up 'bout an hour ago runnin' fever. We think there might be an infection, but we're not sure. Everythin' looks normal, so we don't know what's wrong." Looking to Brian, he saw tears well behind the boy's eyes. Tapping him on the bottom of the chin, Sully continued. 

"Hey, hey it's ok. Everythin's gonna be ok. Dr. Williamson's gonna do everything he can to make her better." At the sound of this, Matthew's head shot up.

"Williamson? I thought Dr. Bernard was takin' care of her."

"He went home for the day." Sully explained patiently. In all honesty, he had the very same reaction when he saw the strange doctor walk into the room. He'd preferred Dr. Bernard to treat Dr. Mike. He knew Bernard and Dr. Mike had a well-respected working relationship between them and Sully had taken his cues from her. If she trusted Dr. Bernard, he could too, but Sully had never heard Dr. Mike mention a Williamson before. Realistically, he knew that this didn't mean anything, but something inside of him was unsteady. It was something about the older doctor's eyes, the stubborn jaw, and sure shoulders that made Sully uneasy. Sully told himself that it was just a personality clash. He didn't like how the older man stormed into the room barking orders left and right and turned the situation on it head. As effective as that technique was, Sully felt himself struggle with his own stubbornness. Consciously reminding himself that this wasn't about him, Sully forced himself to step back and let the doctor treat Michaela.

"Why did he have to go home?" Brian asked, tugging at the blankets around him.

"He needed to get some rest. He'd been here for over 24 hours."

"I'm sure Dr. Williamson will take good care of her." Matthew interjected, looking at Sully. He felt it too, the uneasiness of having someone they didn't know care for Dr. Mike. Sully nodded slightly agreeing.

"Yea, he will." Then leaning over to Brian, "How about I stay here with you while Matthew goes up and checks on Colleen and Dr. Mike? Would that be ok?" Brian took the words in and mulled them over. He wanted to see his ma more than ever now, but he knew that it wasn't the time to argue.

"Yea," he nodded as he watched Matthew stand. "Hey Matthew? Tell her I love her." Brian licked his lips nervously as Matthew took a few steps over to the bed. Reaching up, he ruffled the bleach blonde of Brian's hair and forced a smile.

"I will, but you hang on 'cause you're gonna tell her yourself."

**Friday November 15, 8:00 PM**

**Denver, Colorado**

Matthew hesitantly pushed on the door leading into Dr. Mike's room. Unsure of what he was going to find, Matthew felt a lump rise in his throat. He hated this feeling, this uncertainty. He hated seeing that fear in his brother's eyes and pretending that everything was going to be all right. It wasn't fair. They had already lost so many people they loved, why did they have to lose Dr. Mike too? _No, I can't think about that now. She's going to be all right. We have to have faith __in her._ Taking a deep breath, Matthew forced the dark thoughts to the back of his mind; he refused to let himself think any longer.

Stepping into the room, Matthew faltered only for a moment. Colleen, having pulled the blankets to the foot of the bed sat next to Dr. Mike's shaking form. The girl was bent over her mother, patiently running a cool cloth over her feverish skin. The windows were opened to the night sky and the cool November breeze blew in and danced across the room.

Matthew set his jaw, scolding himself for his moment of weakness. He had no such luxury. He had to be strong for Brian and Colleen, and especially for Dr. Mike. Walking into the room, Matthew made it all the way to Colleen's side before she even realized he was in the room.

"How is she?"

"She's hanging in there." Colleen whispered into the darkness, not taking her eyes of her mother. Reaching out, she tucked a stray lock of caramel hair behind Dr. Mike's ear before turning to face her brother. "Her fever's still going up. It doesn't seem like the quinine is helping yet."

"Is it an infection?"

"It has to be, she hasn't presented any more symptoms." Rising from her place on the bed, Colleen made her way over to the washstand, anxiously rinsing the cloth in the cool water.

Michaela was miserable. Stirring restlessly on the bed, she pulled her legs up, letting them fan out in the open air. She was hot and cold at the same time. Everything was hazy. She knew she wasn't alone, and yet she was void of the energy to open her eyes. Her body ached and her muscles twitched. Taking a deep breath, she wrapped her fingers tightly around her pillow. She was conscious of the gentle breeze that wafted into the room, cooling her skin and making her shiver. Faintly she felt a tingling on her ankle that spread up her leg before stopping. Once again, it landed on her hand. Struggling to flex her fingers at the sensation, she felt it go away.

Matthew frowned as he watched the little fly buzz away from Dr. Mike's hand. It danced over her skin, annoying her as it tingled against her flesh. He watched intently as it landed on the edge of her smooth shoulder before batting away the irritating insect himself.

"Matthew…" he heard Dr. Mike's hoarse voice struggle to pronounce his name as she looked up at him through her lashes.

"Dr. Mike. I'm here." He picked up her hand, trying to prove his existence to her in his touch. She blinked tiredly and for a minute, Matthew thought that was all she had to say.

"Brian…"

"Sshhh… ya don't need ta worry about him. Sully's with him." Pausing for a minute, he thought to add, "Sully taking good care of everything." Matthew felt her hand tighten around his, acknowledging his words, though she lacked the energy to speak herself.

"You close your eyes now, Dr. Mike," Colleen interjected as she laid another cool cloth along her mother's cheek. "Everything's gonna be ok."

Michaela, feeling her skin tingle against the cool cloth as it moved from her cheek down her neck, allowed herself to be comforted by her children. Too weary to put up a fight, she simply took her daughter's words to heart and obeyed.

_There you have it...what do you think?_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Friday November 15 10:00 PM**

**Denver Colorado**

Sully opened his eyes at the sound of rustling sheets. He exhaled a little harsher than normal, irritated at the constant noise. The soft yet steady sound was grating on his nerves. No, that wasn't right. The entire situation was grating on his nerves, the rummaging of sheets was merely a taunt reminding him of where he was and where he'd rather be.

Sully hadn't been asleep, far from it actually, but he had been resting his eyes desperately trying to make himself numb to calm his swirling mind. Until now, his efforts had been a gross failure. Sully found himself staring into the darkness that surrounded him, a darkness that seemed to reach into his inner most being. The lights in the children's ward had been out since eight-thirty and, with the exception of a few lit candles, most of the patients had been asleep long ago, but not Brian. Initially, Sully had hoped that once the boy went to sleep he would be free to make his way upstairs, to check on Dr. Mike. He hadn't seen her for the majority of the evening and with the exception of the few reports Colleen and Matthew came with, Sully didn't know how she was doing. From what little he had been told, she wasn't faring well.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he listened to the rustling sheets once more. The sounds seemed like the clanking of chains, reminding him of his captivity. He felt as if his body were held in one place while his soul longed to be somewhere else. _One more time. Just give it one more time._ 

Hearing the tick squeak against the ropes, Sully bit his lip, trying to control his temper. Clearing his throat, he broke the silence.

"Brian, son, you need to go to sleep."

"I'm trying, Sully. I just can't." Brian's whine echoed through the corners of Sully's mind. Running his hands over his tired eyes, the next time Sully spoke it was in quite, even tones. Michaela would have been able to detect the tone; she would have recognized how he was struggling to maintain control, but Brian was unaware of this. He had never really had to have the opportunity to be around his friend when he was aggravated.

"I know ya can't, but ya need ta try. Ya need to get some sleep." An expectant hush filled the space between the two men as Brian drew the courage to ask his next question.

"How's Ma doin'?" It's _not fair for me to blame him. He can't sleep for the same reason I can't._ Slipping from his chair, Sully knelt by Brian's bedside, gently pressing on the boy's shoulder until he got him to lie down.

"I don't know." He whispered into the darkness. "I've been with you this evenin', remember?" He made to fluff the boy's pillow before moving to straighten the bunched sheets at the foot of the bed.

"Yea… but how do ya think she's doin?"

"I think she's doin' the best she can. She loves ya too much to give up that easily."

"Yea…" Brian fell silent as he thought over Sully's words. He yawned into the darkness as he nuzzled the freshly fluffed pillow. Truth be told he was sleepy, but he couldn't get his ma out of his mind. He kept thinking over everything he wanted to tell her. Rolling to his side, Brian struggled to see Sully's face in the darkened room. "Sully?"

"Yea…"

"Will you tell me a story?" Sully thought for a minute. Traversing the files of stories in his mind, he finally settled on one.

"Yea… Ya comfortable?"

"Yea."

Sully shifted so that he was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bedside table. "There was once a Cheyenne brave named Young Bear. He was a fierce warrior and had many adventures. Once, when Young Bear was only sixteen, he was selected to go hunting with some of the older warriors."

"He must have been a good hunter if he got to go when he was sixteen."

"He was. He was patient and cunnin'. Some say that he could run through the forest without making a sound. It was like he could fly with the eagle. Before he left for his hunt, his ma gave him a special feather. She said that the feather was coated in her love for him and as long as he kept the feather of the white owl no danger would come to him."

"A white owl?"

"Yea… so anyway, he goes heading out on the hunt. Back in those times, the Cheyenne moved freely from place to place. The plains were full of Buffalo, but the Cheyenne only killed what they needed. As the warriors made it to their huntin' land they saw hundreds of Buffalo."

"Wow."

"But somethin' was wrong. When they began to make their kill, one of the bulls spooked and there was a stampede. After the dust had cleared on the plains all had been killed, all but Young Bear. He was left hurt and alone in a strange land."

"He must have been scared."

"He was, but he wouldn't let himself lay there, clutching the feather that hung around his neck he promised to make it home."

"What happened next?" Just as Sully began to speak again, he heard footsteps, urgent footsteps come running down the hallway. It seemed as though the curtain moved in slow motion, pulling to the side as a very out of breath Colleen stood in the opening. Sully's heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. _No, don't say it. Please don't. _He felt as if he were in a dream, everyone around him moving normally as he struggled in slow motion.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Dr. Mike." Colleen struggled to catch her breath as she tried to explain what was happening. "Dr. Williamson wants to bleed her."

"I don't understand."

"Dr. Mike never bleeds her patients; she says it does more damage than good." Colleen paused and looked as Sully expectantly. She knew he only learned from Dr. Mike what he'd seen her do. He hadn't talked to her about all of these treatments and theories, but Colleen had. She was teaching Colleen these things, but Dr. Williamson refused to listen to what she had to say. He simply brushed her off and Matthew as well. Watching as Sully rose from his place by Brian's bedside she felt tears burn in her eyes. She couldn't ignore the panic in her chest, and although Sully didn't understand the magnitude of the situation, he felt the same urgency. He turned to Brian.

"Wait here. We'll be back." He instructed Brian before turning to follow Colleen out of the room.

Matthew was standing expectantly in the doorway by the time Sully and Colleen made it upstairs. Not even pausing, Sully brushed right past him into the room to find Dr. Williamson leaning over Michaela, inspecting her arm in the soft lamp light.

"What's goin' on?" Sully asked the man, watching as he sprayed a clear fluid across the bend in her elbow. Dr. Williamson didn't even bother to look up as he answered.

"Ms. Quinn…"

"Dr. Quinn." Sully corrected, disdain clearly evident in his voice.

"Dr. Quinn… has an infection that requires bloodletting." Sully watched as the elderly man pulled out what looked to be a box with several slits cut into the bottom. There was a trigger on top of the box that the doctor seemed to examine thoroughly before running his thumb over the crud trigger, pressing it quickly. Sully watched in horror as ten small blades jutted out of the bottom of the box. No, he had never seen Dr. Mike use anything like this before.

As Williamson moved toward Michaela, Sully reached for the doctor. Catching him by the upper arm, Sully pulled him from the bed before the older man even had the chance to touch her. 

"Whoa…" He jerked the man a little forcing him to meet his gaze. "Ya ain't touchin' her until you tell us what you're doin'."

"Mr.…"

"Sully."

"Mr. Sully there is no time for me to spend explaining these very complex matters to someone who has no knowledge of the medical sciences." Sully bristled a little as he stared at the doctor in front of him. Deep wrinkles carved lines of frustration and arrogance into the older man's face. His eyes were dull and compassionless. Sully frowned. This man wasn't a real doctor. A real doctor took the time to explain these things, especially when their patient's families had no idea what was going on. A real doctor cared about not only their patient but their loved ones as well. A real doctor not only healed the body, he healed the spirit as well. Suddenly Sully longed to be staring into Michaela's eyes, to stare into the hope and compassion that radiated in her eyes. She had taught him so many things over the time that he'd known her. He had sat and watched her spend hours with family members, patiently explaining procedures and options. However, it wasn't until this moment that he realized just how remarkable she was. Setting his jaw, Sully glared back at the older man, refusing to be brushed aside.

"Well ya better make time. 'Cause ya ain't gonna lay a hand on her until I know what's goin' on." Letting out a frustrated sigh the doctor began to speak quickly.

"Dr. Quinn has an infection. All infections are caused by an unusually high amount of blood, poisoned blood that spreads through the body. We relieve the body of this extra blood to prevent the spread of infection to other parts of the body. Once the tainted blood is removed the infection will stop." Sully just stood there, staring at the men while trying to process the load of information he was given. The logic made sense to him, but there had to be something that Dr. Mike disagreed with. Slowly going over the words in his mind, Sully tried to find fault with something, but he couldn't. In reality, he didn't know what was true or not. It was as if he were trying to fight a battle without the proper weapons. He wasn't prepared for something like this. Stepping back Sully turned to look at Colleen, who was standing huddled next to Matthew, eyes fixated intently on her mother as Williamson once again hovered over her. Sully's gaze met with Matthew's only a moment before turning to Colleen.

"Colleen…" she didn't respond. "Colleen!" He called a little more urgently as Matthew shifted, gaining her attention. When she looked at Sully her eyes were red and rimmed with unshed tears, but she held his intense gaze. "Are you sure?" There was only a moment when doubt crept into her mind, but it was unfounded doubt. She remembered talking to Dr. Mike about this as if it were yesterday. She set her jaw.

"I'm positive." Sully had nothing more to go on than Colleen's words, but he trusted her and he trusted Dr. Mike. Turning around he caught Williamson one last time.

"Stop. Ya ain't cuttin' on her."

"Mr. Sully, I am treating my patient." Williamson's voice rose a little more than necessary.

"Then we're refusin' treatment." Sully watched the Williamson scowl as he stepped closer, gripping the box like instrument in his hand.

"When she dies, you remember this moment. It's all on your shoulders." With that, Williamson brushed out of the room, not taking the time to look back.

Sully stood still for just a moment, watching the doctor leave out of the corner of his eye before turning back to Michaela. The words hung heavily in the air, encircling him and making it difficult to breath. If anything happened, he wouldn't be able to handle it. The burden was too much to bear and yet it was all his own. He couldn't give it away, and he didn't want to. Moving over to Michaela, he gently tugged on her sleeve, lowering it as if telling her it was all over. She could rest easy now.

"Sully." Matthew started, causing the older man to turn before Colleen wrapped him in a firm embrace. Whatever happened they could never blame Sully. He had helped them. He was the reason they made this far. Looking into his friend's eyes, Matthew could see the uneasiness that lay there. Having heard Williamson's words, Matthew knew that regardless of how they felt, Sully would blame himself. He would carry that weight. "Thank you."

Sully merely nodded, cupping Colleen's head against his chest. "Why don't you go down and let Brian know how she's doin'. He'll be worried." _Just give me a few minutes. I need to be alone __right now._ Matthew nodded as Colleen pulled away, smiling amongst her tears. Stepping out of the room, they made their way to their brother, leaving Sully alone.

**Saturday November 16 1:00 AM**

**Denver, Colorado**

Michaela coughed, her body shaking as she struggled to breathe. She couldn't catch her breath. Each inhale brought another cough. Over the past few hours, she had drifted in and out of consciousness. She walked a steady line between awareness and sleep. In truth, she preferred to sleep. She didn't hurt when she slept, but in the same instance she knew it scared the children. She knew the entire situation scared the children. She hated this helpless feeling. She hated not being able to wrap her arms around them and tell them that everything was going to be all right.

Still coughing, Michaela struggled to sit up in bed. Her chest hurt so bad. Lazily rolling her head toward the bedside table, she caught sight of an empty glass and attempted to pull herself toward the object. Her mouth was dry. All she needed was a little…

"Whoa, whatcha need?" She felt a strong embrace encircle her body, pulling her arms to her chest. She knew it was Sully who spoke to her, who held her. She would have known if for no other reason than the familiar way her arms tingled where he touched her, but she couldn't find the strength to face him. Keeping her eyes trained on her goal, she struggled to lick her lips so she could speak. It was no use, everything was too dry. When she did in fact try to speak, it came out as a harsh squeak, making Sully wince.

"Wa… water." Falling silent, she watched Sully's graceful movements as he stood and poured a glass of water before turning toward her.

"Here." He helped her raise her head, cradling it in the crook of his arm as he held the glass steadily to her lips allowing her to tilt it. She drank a few sips before gingerly pushing the glass away. "Any more?"

"Huh uh." She shook her head as she reached for the covers, pulling them under her chin. As Sully deposited the glass on the nightstand he watched her and frowned. Chills meant her fever was going up. Rolling her head toward him, she struggled to smile, but failed to find the strength. What was the point anyway? Why should she pretend? _I'm scared Sully_. She watched as he reached out and ran his fingers over her cheek.

"Hey, it's good ta see those eyes." Capturing his hand in hers, she pressed it to her cheek enjoying the sparks that he sent soaring through her skin, proof she was still alive. She wanted to tell him. She dreamed of telling him, but not like this. Ignoring the way her body shuttered violently under the covers, she grasped his hand tighter.

"Sully… children." She was at a loss of words. She didn't know how to ask him the question searing through her mind. Misunderstanding her meaning, Sully nodded.

"They're ok. They're getting some rest." However, as soon as the words had left him mouth and he saw her eyebrows lower he instantly knew what she had meant.

"Sully…" Taking a breath, Sully shifted to kneel by her bed. Wrapping his other hand around their already united hands, he rubbed gently at the smooth skin.

"I promise you…that no matter what happens. The children will always be well taken care of." Sully brushed at a tear leisurely rolling down her cheek before leaning in to kiss her forehead.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

_You wouldn't have been on that train. You would've stayed in Boston. _Despite his thoughts, Sully merely smiled sadly. "Ya're strong, Dr. Mike." _Michaela_. "Don't forget that."

**Saturday November 16 8:00 AM**

**Denver Colorado **

Sully had been up with the dawn, well, actually he hadn't slept to begin with so he'd hadn't technically woken at all. He had stood and watched intently as the sun rose over the horizon, signaling to Mother Earth that a new day had begun anew. Birds were taking flight against the morning sun and coyotes were calling in the distance. Sully watched a little black cat stretching across the town square for quite awhile before shifting his attention to the people that meandered beneath them. None of this was fair. Michaela should be one of those women, carelessly window-shopping on the boardwalk.

"Anything happenin' outside?" Matthew spoke up from his place at the foot of the bed startling Sully from his thoughts.

"I thought you were asleep."

"Haven't slept much. Been watching you for a bit, though." Sully simply fell silent, returning his gaze outside. It had been a long few hours, but they had pushed through. Colleen even said that Dr. Mike's fever might have come down a little. Each of them held on to that as hope, but nothing had drastically changed.

"I don't think I'm very interesting ta watch, Matthew."

"Yea, ya are. She was anxious ya know."

"Anxious about what?"

"I don't know. She wouldn't say, but when Brian said somethin' about ya she just smiled." Sully felt his heart constrict. Forcing himself to sit, he watched as Colleen begin to stir. Stretching her arms, she sat up a little.

"Did you get you get any sleep?" Matthew asked turning to his sister.

"A little. Maybe an hour or two." Glancing between the siblings, Sully noticed the tired expression each of them wore. They just weren't getting enough sleep here. Which was completely understandable, they were all too stressed and there was no comfortable place to rest. If things didn't change, Sully knew he was going to have to do something. He just didn't know what. They would be discharging Brian late tomorrow afternoon, so he still had time to decide the best course of action, but as he sat here, he remembered his promise to Michaela the night before. It was a promise he would not take lightly. Suddenly, the sound of the creaking door jarred Sully from his thoughts.

"I heard Dr. Quinn started running fever yesterday." Dr. Bernard stepped into the room and took only a moment to acknowledge the relieved faces that surrounded the little bed. "I decided to stop by here first. How is she?" Colleen stood automatically, allowing Bernard the space to get closer to the bed before she began to speak.

"She started running fever yesterday around six. It's been up and down all night."

"Has she complained of anything else?"

"No, and there isn't any markings around the incision to suggest infection." Bernard frowned at this. Looking up, he nodded for Sully to help him roll her over.

"Dr. Quinn… Dr. Quinn." The doctor attempted to wake her all the while discretely examining the jagged scaring across her abdomen.

"Hmmm." Michaela struggled against the myriad of voices, hands, and pain that was converging to pull her once again to the surface. Opening her eyes, she swallowed.

"Dr. Quinn how are you feeling." Bernard's voice was loud as he attempted to call to her. "Are you in any pain?"

"Back..." she managed to choke out. "My back hurts." Sully, who had stood back from the bed to give Dr. Bernard some room watched as the doctor's hand moved from her abdomen to her back, expertly feeling across her skin. Bernard frowned.

"It's her kidney."

"What?" Both, Matthew and Sully moved closer at the sound of this, interested in the doctor's diagnosis. Colleen too, seemed to perk a little.

"Her kidney." Bernard stood for a moment and for that brief second, Sully saw it. The thing that was missing from Williamson's eyes last night. "Remember after her first surgery I mentioned her kidney was damaged. I thought it had been prepared properly, but it appears to be inflamed."

"So what do we do?" Matthew verbalized what everyone else was thinking.

"The human body has two kidneys. Each organ performs the same task, splitting the work between the two. However, there have been several well documented cases where patients have been able to live long, healthy lives with only one kidney."

"So ya take it out?" Sully asked in disbelief.

"Yes, we remove the kidney and hope the inflammation is isolated only to the organ." Sully mulled the doctors words over in him mind, glancing at both Matthew and Colleen. More than anyone else, he was inclined to believe Bernard. Sully shrugged.

"When do you do the surgery."

"As soon as possible. If you'll help me move her, I'll retrieve a gurney." Sully lost no time, in one smooth move he swooped down and gathered Michaela into his arms. She was light in his arms, curling slightly as he cradled her against his chest. She stirred slightly lifting her eyes to him as she laid her head on his chest.

"Sully…"

"Shhh… it's all gonna be ok now." Turning toward the door, he followed Bernard down the hall.

_Well, whatcha think?_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Saturday November 16, 6:00PM**

**Denver Colorado**

The _click, click, click_ of the bedside clock sang out into the little room, signaling each minute as it fluttered from future to present to past, and yet each moment was just like the second before. There were no changes. There was no hope. There was no devastation. There was just moment after moment of endless waiting. It was torture.

Sully leaned back in the hard wood chair, his knee moving up and down to a steady rhythm he kept in his head. His body was numb; his muscles had fallen asleep long ago, leaving just his mind to work over the past few days. There had to be something he could have done differently. Somewhere there was a small decision that had been made that could have prevented all of this. There had to be, otherwise this was merely the work of the Fates. This had been their destiny. Somehow this thought, the thought that all those moments they'd shared, all the feelings he felt pointed to this moment and this moment alone was unbearable. Sully was disgusted with himself. He was disgusted that he couldn't fix this; that he couldn't make this better for her… for them, but more than that he was disgusted that he sat here, in this room with Matthew and Colleen each lost in their own thoughts. They each were living in their own private Hell, transversing the what ifs of the worst-case scenarios. They each were suffering together, but desperately alone, and Sully didn't know how to change that. He didn't know how to unite them in their pain. _Michaela __would know_. The thoughts were there and gone before he could prevent them, leaving an aching hole in his chest. _What would you do?_

Turning his head from where he was staring hopelessly out the window, Sully scanned the little bed as if looking for the answer to his question.

Earlier that morning Dr. Bernard had whisked Dr. Mike into surgery, hoping that they could remove the damaged kidney before the inflammation spread into her blood stream. As of now, no one was sure if they had succeeded or not, but there was hope. Michaela's temperature had all but gone away, settling in at a slightly elevated 99 degrees. However, it had been eight hours and there was no sign of her waking up. Bernard didn't seem to be too worried. "Her body has been through a lot. Sleep is its way of recovering from all of this," he had said when he came to check on them, but that didn't prevent them from worrying. That didn't keep Sully's mind from wandering back to the year before when he watched Brian lay in a coma in Dr. Mike's little upstairs room. Sully narrowed his eyes to the steady rise and fall of Michaela's chest. _Just keep breathing. Fight for us._

A sudden creak broke the usual silence that had filled the room for the past three hours as Matthew stood. Anxiously, he shoved his hands in his pockets before pacing the floor. He was just as uneasy as Sully, feeling as though he had let his siblings down yet again. Walking toward the wall, Matthew stopped and turned before making the track once more across the room. The lazy spell that had permeated the room seemed to be broken with the alien movement, grating on nerves as the sound of his footsteps pounded against the floor.

"Matthew sit down!" Colleen snapped raising her hands to her eyes. Her head was beginning to ache. She was hungry and sleepy, and the little cot that one of the nurses had brought into the room a few hours ago looked so tempting, but she just couldn't bring herself to rest.

"I can't just sit there anymore."

"Walking around isn't going to fix anything!"

"Well it's not going to make anything worse."

"It's making _me _worse!" Colleen cried into the stuffy little room, her voice squeaking at the end and making Sully flinch. Rising from his chair, Sully tempted to smooth the situation over. He made his way over to Matthew, placing a gently hand on the boy's back, he spoke to him in hushed tones.

"Why don't ya get outta here for an hour or two? Get ya somethin' ta eat maybe get some rest."

"I… I can't Sully…I ju-" Matthew paused mid sentence, his eyes shifting to a point beyond Sully's shoulder. Sully watched as the boy's lips curled into a thin smile. "Ma!" Matthew cried out, brushing past Sully and coming to rest at Dr. Mike's side. As Sully followed Matthew's eyes to the little bed, he felt tears spring to his eyes and heard himself actually laugh.

"Ma!" Matthew repeated once more grasping desperately at his mother's soft hand.

Michaela turned her head toward the gentle coaxing and drank in the familiar features of her son's smiling face. She returned his smile. "Hey." She whispered hoarsely, taking the opportunity to look around the little room. She was like a newborn, experiencing the world for the very first time. Yes, her head was a little foggy, but she could think clearly and she no longer felt like she was trying to move through mud. She was feeling so much better.

"Dr. Mike!" Colleen's head suddenly appeared in Michaela's line of vision, causing her to smile more.

"Oh Colleen…" She reached out to cup her daughter's cheek. "It's so good to see you." Laying still, she accepted Colleen's kiss on her cheek.

"You don't feel like you're running fever anymore." The young girl determined, smiling broadly. Matthew felt his heart soar.

"How are ya feelin'?"

"Much better actually. How are you?" She reached out and tapped him on the cheek before splitting her attention between him and Colleen. "You look tired."

"Really? Cause it don't feel like it." Matthew brushed off his mother's worried gaze, sharing a secretive look with Colleen.

"So you say…" Michaela smiled at her children. They were so brave. She couldn't imagine being any prouder of them, but they had help. Furrowing her brow she struggled to look around the room. "Where's Sully?"

Matthew turned quickly to where he left Sully by the door, but the older man was no longer there. The door, however, stood open in his place. "I bet he'll be right back. He'll want ta see ya feelin' better."

"Yea," Colleen agreed, "If you think we look tired you should see him. I don't think he's slept in the past forty-six hours." Giving in to temptation, she leaned in and gave her mother another quick kiss to the forehead.

"I'm sorry I was so much trouble."

"You're not any trouble. We're just glad ta see ya feelin' better." Michaela could see the dark cloud fall over Matthew's face as he remembered the past three days. She had no idea what had happened, and had a feeling that she would never know everything that went on, but that was over now. Now only brightness lay ahead. Squeezing Matthew's hand, she smiled at him, understanding that fear in such uncertainty.

"Ma!" A new, sluggish voice fluttered into the room and Michaela felt her heart flutter. Looking up, she say Sully appear in the doorway carrying little Brian close to his chest.

"Brian…" Michaela felt her cheeks burn she was smiling so brightly. Gracefully, Sully moved to the little bed and, pulling the sheets back, deposited the young boy next to his mother before covering them both up again. Pausing for just a moment, his eyes locked with Michaela's. It took every effort in his body to pull himself away. There was time for this later, right now she needed to see her children.

"Ma, I was so worried." Brian whispered into her ear, snuggling close to her side. Michaela stiffly wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer as she spoke.

"Let me look at you." She lifted her hand to the bandage that wrapped around his head. "Does this hurt?"

"Not much anymore." Brian yawned. "The nurse just gave me some more medicine. She said I could go home tomorrow."

"I think we'll all be going home soon." Matthew said smiling at his little family, together once more.

"You look sleepy." Michaela poked on her son's cheek, tucking the blankets around his little body. In all honesty, her eyes were getting heavy as well.

"Uh huh…" Brian murmured causing everyone else to laugh. Turning to Matthew and Colleen, Michaela raised her brows a little.

"Do you think we could all rest now?"

"Yea" Colleen smiled, laughing actually, before kissing her mother one last time. It was over, she could barely believe it. Standing, Colleen turned to face Sully, who was hanging back watching them interact. She smiled at him. Yes, they would all be able to rest now. They would sleep as they never slept before. Just as everyone was settled, though, Brian, with eyes half closed, turned to Sully, yawning as he spoke.

"Hey Sully. Ya didn't tell me how the story ended."

"Story?" Michaela's eyes rose, searching to be filled in. Brian, of course didn't miss a beat.

"Yea, Sully was telling me a story last night. It was about a Cheyenne named Young Bear an' there was a stampede. He was the only one who lived, but he was hurt real bad." Sully took a few steps closer to the bed, adjusting the sheets around Brian and his ma as he thought of the end of the story. As he began to speak he looked not to Brian, but to Michaela, choosing to tell her the end of the story instead.

"He eventually made it home, safe and sound. His ma was still waiting on him; she had never given up on him. She always knew he would come home."

Yawning once more, Brian closed his eyes. "That's a good ending."

"Yea, it is."

_The sun had long set behind the shadow of the tall mountain, illuminating the sky in a bright blue while the world beneath began its descent into the dark night. However, this was not a damaging darkness, this darkness would heal, replenish. _

_It was the first time in nearly six weeks Michaela was home, and it felt good. She hadn't realized how much she had missed Colorado Springs. She missed the people and the laid back day-to-day activities. She missed the mundane chores that filled her life, and the comfortable little bed with the warm blankets and soft pillows. She missed her home. Leaning with her back to the homestead, she watched as lightning bugs drifted in and out of her line of sight. Somewhere in the distance, she heard an owl hoot. She tried to hear and see everything that surrounded her that made this home as she struggled to ignore the slight pain radiating from her midsection. She had done well today. No medicine at all, the willow bark helped most of her discomfort and although she wasn't capable of doing many chores, she had managed to spend most of the day out of bed. Yes, today was a good day. Perhaps she'll take a little laudanum before she went to bed. _

_Hearing the door shut beside her, she didn't have to look to know that it was Sully. The children had long since retreated to bed. _

"_I thought you'd be needin' some of this." He said, handing her a cup filled with tea, willow bark tea. "Ya sure ya shouldn't be sittin'?" _

"_No, I want to stand a little longer. Once I go to bed I'll get stiff again."_

"_Ya have ta start everythin' over again." She turned her head to him and smiled. _

"_It's getting easier." She reassured. Michaela watched as Sully looked down to his own teacup before speaking. Something was on his mind. _

"_Ya know everythin' I told ya was true. I meant all of it." _

"_And I meant everything I said as well." Sully looked up to meet her gaze, leaning his shoulder against the same wall as she. _

"_How exactly do we do this?"_

"_Courting? I suppose we'll start slow, take it a little each day." _

_Sully smiled. "It'll be like startin' over again." _

"_Yes, but it'll get easier." Michaela matched his smile, understanding that they had just come full circle. She gazed into his eyes, losing herself in the joy that he gave her. She wasn't even aware of the way she leaned into him, her lips unconsciously seeking his or the way his head ducked to her, but she was aware of the precise moment their lips touched. Sparks shot through her body, warming her from the inside out as she leaned further into his embrace. Michaela could feel his strong arms wrap around her waist, steadying her on her feet as his soft lips pressed against hers. His harsh whiskers tickled against her soft skin. His familiar scent of buckskin and cedar surrounded her holding her in a safe embrace of its own. Neither daring to go further in such unfamiliar territory, they both broke apart ,smiling contently at the hopes that were turning into dreams before their very eyes. _

_Sully laughed. "Ya better get inside 'fore your ma comes lookin' for ya."_

"_Ugh," Michaela groaned in protest, "Don't remind me." _

"_It'll do ya good. She'll be a lot of help while she's here." _

"_I know. I just… I was hoping for more time so that we could talk" Leaning down, Sully gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek. _

"_We'll have all the time in the world," he said, mentally adding, 'we have the rest of our lives.'_

Michaela became aware of a vague tugging at her side and the cool air hitting her arm. Groggily opening her eyes, she found Sully and Matthew leaning over her.

"What's wrong?" She whispered, half afraid that she once again was running fever. _I don't think I can do all this over,_ she thought helplessly.

"Nothing." Sully was quick to answer. "The nurse said it's time for Brian ta go back downstairs."

"Colleen and I'll take him down." Matthew whispered, shooting a smiling look to Sully before gathering a still sleeping Brian into his arms before turning for the door, leaving Michaela and Sully alone. Matthew knew Dr. Mike had been so anxious to see Sully when they started this journey. She had waited long enough.

Michaela turned to Sully, struggling against the fogginess of sleep that muddled her mind and tried to remember everything she wanted to tell him. "It's good to see you."

"I could say the same for you."

"How did you know to come?"

"Horace got a telegram. They sent out the passenger lists to several of the surrounding towns. He found me in town." Sully watched as Michaela's forehead wrinkled, trying to peace this information into what she already knew. Shifting his weight on his knee, Sully's mind keyed in on this one interesting topic. What did she know. Narrowing his eyes, he tried to judge whether or not to ask this question. He didn't want to cause her any more pain than necessary, but he couldn't resist.

"What's the last thing ya remember?"

"I…" She struggled through the images that flashed before her eyes, struggling to put them into order, to form a story out of the scenes. "I remember Colleen and Matthew leaving for the dining car. We just had a few more minutes left before we would be in Denver. We were almost home. I… I think I fell asleep because I remember the train whistle blowing, and then everything was turned upside down. Everything seemed to crush around us and I couldn't find Brian. It was the most horrendous sound." Michaela moved to brush at a tear running down her cheek. "And then it was all over. It was so quiet, and then I saw…" She paused as she turned to look at Sully. "I saw you. That's the last thing I remember. I saw your face."

Sully fought the lump tighten in his throat. He felt his heart beating in his chest. He never imagined he could love someone this much. Sully could not imagine never having this moment with her; he struggled to bring himself from the dark territory he was walking. No more what ifs, everything would be ok now. Pausing for just a moment until he was certain he could speak he placed a kiss into the center of her palm.

"You rest for just a few more days and then I'm gonna take ya back to Colorado Springs, to the homestead and the clinic. I'll take you home."

Michaela felt her body tingle, as he spoke. He trusted him completely, leaving him to make all the necessary decisions. He would take care of them; he already had, and she would always be in his debt. However, none of that mattered now. They're journey was over; she could see the light at the end of the tunnel and it was beautiful. Now, looking into the deep blue of Sully's eyes, Michaela realized that there was a fatal flaw to his words. She had anticipated the soothing warmth that would envelope her body and set her soul at ease when she stepped off the stage and looked at the Colorado Mountains. She had expected this feeling when she finally made it home, but it had come early. Finally understanding what her heart had been trying to tell her all along, she held Sully's gaze.

"I think I already am home." She watched as the smile on his face spread. Leaning in to her, he placed a gentle, soothing kiss to her forehead before pulling away.

"Ya need ta get some more sleep." He chuckles as he watched her yawn, her body reacting to its premature wakening. "See?"

"I believe you're right." She whispered her eyes dropping closed as she scooted around the bed, hoping to find a comfortable position. Squeezing his hand, she knew he wasn't going anywhere. He would stay right by her side. Content that all was well, Michaela once again let sleep pull her 

away, but this time it was a healing sleep, one that provides strength and promises happy endings. However, just before she released herself into Morpheus' power, her mind struggled to complete one last thought. "Oh Sully I waited to tell you so long." Her words garbled together, causing Sully to chuckle. She was adorable.

"What did you want to tell me?" With one last effort, she struggled to open her eyes. She wanted this to be right, no doubts in either of their minds. She smiled broadly at his dancing eyes.

"I love you too."

**The End**

_Thank you guys for being so patient with me. I hope you enjoyed it!_


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